Self Reliance

Back to Basics

I still need God. I still need people. That hasn’t changed.

Trust the Lord completely, and don’t depend on your own knowledge. Proverbs 3:5

I was recently asked to share at a beginners meeting. What I heard in the readings was this reminder: go to meetings and share when I can, get a sponsor, work all the Steps in order starting with Step One, read recovery literature every day, and use the phone between meetings. And I saw something subtle lurking inside me. It’s easy for me to become complacent as things get better. As I experience more peace and happiness, I can drift and forget what brought me here. It reminded me why I came to recovery in the first place. It reminded me not to become complacent, not to drift, not to start thinking I did this on my own. If I could have found this peace and happiness through my own self-reliance, I would have. But I didn’t. I couldn’t. It eluded me at every turn, no matter how much I longed for it.

Realizing that I need God and other people humbles me. It keeps me simple. It keeps me seeking. It reminds me I haven’t arrived and I don’t have it all together. That kind of thinking leads me right back to relapse. It takes me back to old behaviors and a life I no longer want. I need this. I need Him. I need people.

So what do I do? I pray. I sincerely pray and seek God for His will, His wisdom, and His direction in my life. I choose to accept the changes He wants to make in me. I reach out to other people and am vulnerable, sharing my true self. That keeps me humble. It pushes back pride. Living this way has brought me what matters most to me now. Something I longed for my whole life but didn’t even know I was missing. That is connection. Real relationships. First with God, and then with other people. And that is the gift of recovery for me.

Prayer
Father, help me to continue doing the next right thing. Help me keep doing what I did in the beginning. Thank You for reminding me that I need not only You but others. Give me the courage to continue this journey and keep reaching out and seeking help. Amen.