Stopping the Spin

My circumstances didn’t change. Gratitude changed my perspective.

Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, think on these things. Philippians 4:8

I was in an automobile accident a while back. I was driving home late one night from umpiring a bunch of baseball games. I was exhausted from the long day in the heat, and I nodded off to sleep. I hit another truck full on from behind. I was physically ok. No injuries or harm to my body, except a small scratch and a bruise on my arm and chest where my seat belt was. I know God was protecting me, because my truck was completely totaled.

For several days after, I kept replaying the event in my mind. I was stuck in a cycle of “woe is me.” What am I going to do now? I kept thinking incessantly about how this would impact me financially. I was spinning for sure. Then suddenly, I was interrupted by a different thought from inside of me. Why don’t you choose to think of good things? Where did that come from? At first, I pushed back. What is good in this situation? Nothing!

Then it hit me. Maybe I needed to choose on purpose to think on different things. This wasn’t going to happen automatically. So I decided to try. In that moment, I couldn’t think of anything good related to the situation at all. So I decided to be thankful for God. He kept me safe. I started to thank God. It would be realistic to say I tried, because it was very hard. Then I had another thought I learned in the rooms of recovery. I can do something for five minutes that would appall me if I thought I had to do it forever. It was very hard in that moment, but I did it anyway. After a few minutes, it got easier, and I was able to regain my thoughts instead of them running wild. I purposed in my heart and mind to do it by choice. Then I had a time of it, and my perspective changed instantly. I have enough recovery and conscious contact with God that all I needed was a tiny spark to ignite me in the right direction. It doesn’t just happen automatically. I have learned that being thankful and making a gratitude list can break me out of this spiraling cycle. It’s not in knowing what to do, but in actually doing it, that I see my freedom.

Prayer
God, show me the good things in my life, especially when things feel unmanageable and my mind starts racing and I feel overwhelmed. Help me slow down and breathe. Give me the courage to choose differently and the strength to act. When I am stuck, remind me that You accept me just as I am. Amen.