I Didn’t Need Permisssion

Consider yourself challenged.

Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that you may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous person avails much. James 5:16

In recovery, I’m learning how to face my hurts, habits, and hang-ups without letting them define me. I’m learning to humble myself and share my struggles with people so that I can be healed from their effects. This is my story from last November, and how powerful the tools of recovery really are in my daily life.

It’s common these days on November 1 for people to start the “30 Days of Giving Thanks Challenge” on Facebook. I really wanted to do it. I thought, “What a great idea! And why didn’t I think of that?” Then came the next thought, “How come no one challenged me? I want to do that.” As the days went by and no one invited me, I felt hurt and angry. In my mind, no challenge meant no invitation. That old feeling of not being good enough kicked in again.

Then I had an epiphany. Why not use the tools I’ve learned in recovery? For me, those tools aren’t just about stopping destructive habits like drinking, drugging, smoking, sexing, or gambling. And yes, those same tools have helped me stop all of that. But I can also use them to help me stop crazy thinking and feeling hurt.

So I can make a choice to join the challenge simply because I want to and because I’m thankful and grateful for so many things in my life. Once I made that decision, it was easier to do. I suddenly had clarity of mind. I saw that it was pride that had kept me from doing it in the first place. Because it wasn’t my idea, I was offended that no one asked me to do it. I thought that if I joined in now, I’d just be doing what everyone else was doing. Like there’s something wrong with that, right? My thinking was jacked up. I mean, I get hurt and mad when I’m not invited to a party I didn’t want to go to in the first place. What?! Don’t laugh! Okay, but just a little.

As soon as I started, I felt the healing come. The hurt started to fade, and peace flooded my mind and soul. The book of James says that when I humble myself and confess my struggles and shortcomings to another person, God gives me His grace, and I am healed. That’s when my prayers become effective.

For anyone else like me who needs an invitation, here it is. Consider yourself challenged.