My Path Toward Freedom

Peace isn’t found in fixing others.

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1

Living in freedom didn’t happen all at once for me. It came in small, bite-sized pieces, a series of subtle shifts that I didn’t even notice until I stopped and looked back. One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in recovery has been learning to stop giving unsolicited advice. It sounds simple, but after a lifetime of trying to fix everyone and everything around me, it wasn’t easy. At first, I didn’t even notice when I was doing it. I’d walk away from a conversation and realize, maybe hours or days later, that I’d offered my opinion when nobody asked. Then I started noticing it sooner, right after I said something, and almost always regretting it, wishing I had kept my mouth shut. It was humbling, and usually embarrassing.

Over time, my awareness started showing up sooner. I’d catch myself in the middle of talking; it was surreal, like watching the words come out of my mouth and wishing I could grab them and pull them back in. That was a strange, uncomfortable season; my mouth was on autopilot, advertising the brokenness in my heart. But I noticed it was progress, because I was becoming aware while it was happening instead of hours later. Eventually, I started recognizing the thoughts in my head, and I’d say to myself, “No one asked for your opinion!” That simple reminder started to change everything. I began stopping the words before they could escape from my lips. Just as the Just for Today bookmark reminded me, “I will not try to improve or regulate anybody but myself,” I didn’t have to fix, rescue, or manage anyone else. My job was to focus on me and let God handle the rest.

Learning to keep my nose on my own face brought me a kind of peace I didn’t even know I was missing. I no longer felt the need to get everyone else to do things my way, you know, the right way. But the real gift came when I was able to accept people as they were and allow them to have their own process and have it still be okay. I didn’t have to have the last word or offer the right solution. I could listen, be supportive, and let God work without my interference. The more I practiced that, the more accepted and at ease I felt around others. I was no longer judging other people’s choices, emotions, or outcomes. I finally was able to breathe deeply and let life unfold without my input. The slogan Let Go and Let God finally came alive in me. That’s when I began to understand that peace isn’t found in fixing others, it’s found in letting God change me.

Prayer:

God, thank You for setting me free, and for allowing me to learn and grow at my own pace. I’m grateful that You accept me just as I am. Teach me to keep holding my tongue and to stop passing judgment on others. Help me show them the same grace You have given me. Amen.