Keep Practicing
I don’t have to get it right the first time. I just have to stay willing to learn and not give up.
No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening. it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way. Hebrews 12:11
My daughter plays softball and has always wanted to pitch. She and I have been working on it together. Recently, I noticed that she was getting much better, so I had her work with a pitching coach. The coach showed her several drills and made some changes to the way she was pitching. Almost immediately, I could see a big difference in her velocity. The ball had more pop than before, but her accuracy wasn’t nearly as good. Before the lesson, she could throw the ball consistently over the plate, but she wasn’t generating much power. The coach told her not to worry about that yet. First, they were working on developing the proper motion and momentum. The accuracy would come later.
The next day my daughter told me how sore she was. Her legs, hips, and wrist all hurt. She had only worked with the coach for about an hour, and we had practiced much longer before without her being sore afterward. The difference was that now she was using her muscles differently. She was learning movements her body wasn’t used to, and those muscles needed to be developed.
As I thought about that, I realized how much it resembles my recovery. Everything doesn’t always go as I anticipate when I first try something new. I was uncomfortable the first time I shared at a meeting. I fumbled all over my words. The first time I did a Step 4 inventory, I stalled because I was afraid to do it wrong. After a few weeks, my sponsor finally said, “Okay, next week we are doing this.” The first time I tried to set a boundary with someone, it was not pretty. I was rude and offensive even though I wasn’t trying to be. I had never really set a boundary before, so I didn’t know how. I even announced, “I’m setting a boundary with you.” I was developing my recovery muscles, but I didn’t know how to use them effectively yet. Just like that coach, my sponsor encouraged me to keep practicing and not worry so much about being a little off target. We could work on accuracy later.
Working the steps has helped me learn to do things I had never done before and to do old things in healthier ways. The first attempts can be awkward. Sometimes it even hurts. But that does not mean I should give up. I can learn from what happened and try again. Today I understand that I don’t need to do everything “right” the first time. In fact, sometimes it helps me when I don’t. It keeps me humble and teachable. Growth can be uncomfortable when I am using muscles I have never used before. But if I keep practicing, what once felt new and awkward can eventually become my new normal and simply the way I live.
Reflection: What am I learning to do differently that I want to become my new normal and the way I live?
