Evidence of Change
Recovery isn’t just about going to meetings and working the Steps. It’s about letting God change me and how I live.
Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs. Step Twelve
Lately I’ve been thinking about the spiritual purpose of recovery. Recovery is a spiritual program. The goal isn’t simply to work the Steps, attend meetings, or become knowledgeable about the program. The goal is to experience a spiritual awakening and develop a closer relationship with God. Step Twelve says that, having had a spiritual awakening, I’m to carry this message to others and practice these principles in all my affairs. Not just in recovery meetings. Not just with people who understand the program, but in all my affairs. That means outside of the rooms of recovery.
That includes my family and coworkers, and the people I encounter every day. It’s relatively easy to talk about acceptance, forgiveness, humility, and surrender in a room full of people who are trying to practice those same principles. But how do I respond when someone is rude to me? When I don’t get my way? When things don’t go according to my plans? How will I know that I have had a spiritual awakening? My thinking and my behaviors will change.
I remember one of the first people who caught my attention when I came into recovery. His name was Andy T. He had many years of sobriety, and I heard him share at a beginners meeting. What struck me wasn’t how much he knew about recovery. It was his relationship with God. He talked to God, and God talked to him. He sought God’s direction in everyday situations. He had something I wanted. It wasn’t religion. It was a real relationship with God. I began to understand that God wasn’t just someone I turned to when I couldn’t handle things anymore. He was someone I could develop a relationship with, someone who could guide me and change me. And that’s what recovery has helped me do. I couldn’t change myself. If I could have, I would have. But I couldn’t. I needed God’s help, and I still do. My part is to be willing. Surrender to Him. Then take the actions the program teaches me. God’s part is to change me from the inside out.
How do I know He’s changing me? Because I don’t respond the way I used to. I don’t have to manipulate people, control situations, demand my way, or react emotionally to everything that happens. I can accept things I cannot change, make amends when I’m wrong, and choose to do the next right thing. I’m not perfect, and I haven’t arrived. I still need to surrender every day. But I have experienced real change. And with that change has come something I spent much of my life looking for: peace and serenity. The goal of my recovery isn’t simply to become better at working a program. It’s to improve my relationship with God, allowing Him to continually change me into the person He wants me to be, so that I can carry this message to others. And that is the gift of recovery for me.
Prayer: God, help me to continue to surrender my thinking and my actions to You, even when it’s not easy. Give me Your strength to do the next right thing. Help me to carry this message to others. Amen