The Highest Power

Admitting I am powerless doesn’t make me weak. It connects me to the Highest Power.
When I draw near to Him, He draws near to me.

Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. James 4:8

As far back as I can remember I have always believed in God. By that I mean I believed that God existed, He created everything, He was all-powerful, Jesus was His Son and He died on the cross and rose again and was the way to eternal life in heaven. But beyond that I didn’t have a relationship with God. In my thinking God was distant and removed, He didn’t interact in my life on a regular basis, let alone daily. I remember the day that I finally saw more and surrendered my life to God and accepted Jesus as my Savior. It was amazing. But if I am honest, I didn’t change the way I viewed God. He was still distant and off in the future, He wasn’t here and now. The principles of recovery walked me through a process where I began to see God more intimately involved in my daily life. Developing a personal relationship with Him is what working a recovery program is all about. I saw Him as the One True Higher Power.

It was the admission that I am powerless over my addictions or compulsive behaviors that opened me up to reach out to the fullness of God. When I asked for His power to help and heal me, I began to understand that He wants to transform me. He does so by filling my life with His love, His joy, His hope, and His presence. I learned in Steps 1 and 2 that I needed to turn my attention away from myself and instead turn it toward God. This would be my turning point. This is where healing and freedom began for me. I felt overwhelmed and stranded when I realized that I can’t heal myself. Considering I needed divine help was scary. God is the only one who has the power to replace my chaos with freedom, and I had no idea how He would close that distance.

Of course, He knew long before I did what was needed. That is why He sent Jesus to demonstrate God’s love and power here on earth. He saved me from the grip of sin and the destruction it was bringing into my life. He gave an example of how to live out that relationship with God on a daily basis. He was tempted in every area and in every way that I am, but without failure and without sin. He is not just my higher power. He is the Highest Power, because He has conquered all life can dish out. He did that for me so I could experience freedom and intimacy with Him in my own life. When I acknowledge my own powerlessness, I see His power sustaining me daily no matter what I face.

Today, admitting my powerlessness does not make me feel weak. Instead, it is exactly how I draw strength. When I surrender to God, He does not leave me stranded to face my challenges alone. I am not abandoned. He is present and active in my life. He no longer feels distant. I know He is with me. This happens when I stop resisting Him. It may seem like the opposite of what I should do, but it is simply an act of faith. I am learning that this is what trusting Him looks like. When I give up control and surrender to Him, I receive Him. He is the Highest Power.

Prayer

Lord, I give up control again today. I confess that I cannot heal myself or carry this life alone. Draw me close to You and help me stay close. When I feel weak, remind me that Your strength is enough. Thank You for being the Highest Power in my life. Amen.

Slowing Down for Today

Surrender is not just about giving God my future. It is also about giving God my today.

Do not be shaped by this world. Instead, be changed within by a new way of thinking. Then you will be able to decide what God wants for you; you will know what is good and pleasing to him and what is perfect. Romans 12:2

I remember the first time I worked the Steps with my sponsor. Yes, I did say first time. I moved through Steps One and Two quickly. Everything was going smoothly. In my mind, Step Three was already done. I had given my life to Christ as a teenager. I attended church regularly. I studied the Bible. I went to Bible college. I was licensed and ordained. I served in churches in many different ministry roles. I wasn’t new to the concept. So, I figured I could check off Step Three and move right on to Step Four. I told my sponsor, “I got this.”

My sponsor did not argue with me. He didn’t challenge my faith or question my sincerity. He simply suggested we slow down and do the work anyway. He said that if I was truly ready, the work would be easy. That surprised me. What I found was that while I had surrendered my life to Christ long ago, I still struggled with surrendering my will in the ways I thought I had. That started to become clear pretty quickly. Step Three took me weeks, while the first two steps had taken only days. I needed that slowdown, even though I did not realize it at the time. I am thankful God gave my sponsor the wisdom to slow me down and humble me.

What I began to see was how much my biblical knowledge had quietly replaced daily surrender. I had grown complacent. I had become confident in what I knew rather than attentive to how I lived. Pride and control showed up subtly. I assumed I had already completed Step Three because of my education and experience. My sponsor saw something I could not see yet, and God used him to interrupt my momentum. That interruption changed everything.

By slowing down and working the Steps in order, without skipping ahead, I learned something that reshaped my relationship with God. Step Three was not just about giving God my future. It was about giving Him my today too. When that shifted, everything else followed. My relationship with God transitioned from performance to grace and complete honesty. That made me ready to begin Step Four, an honest moral inventory.

Prayer
Lord help me to slow down and not rush ahead. I want to do things Your way and in order. Show me Your will for me and help me to carry it out. Amen.

It’s the Hard That Makes It Great

We can’t become tired of doing good. At the right time we will harvest a crop if we don’t give up, or quit. Galatians 6:9

I was watching the movie A League of Their Own. There is a scene that hit me hard. It’s when Dottie is ready to walk away and quit. She tells Jimmy, “It just got too hard.” The pressure, the sacrifice, and the pain finally were too much. Jimmy responds, “It is supposed to be hard. If it was easy, everyone would do it. It is the hard that makes it great.”

I was thinking how that line represents my life in recovery. Working the steps is not easy. Facing the past is painful. Surrendering control feels scary. Admitting my weakness and making amends are humbling. If my own past efforts would have worked, I would not have stayed stuck in addiction for so long. The principles of recovery ask me to face the very things I spent years avoiding, and that is exactly why it’s so hard.

I’m learning recovery is about surrender and honesty. To admit I’m powerless, to face the truth about my life, make amends, and turn my will and life over to God daily. This work is not just about being clean only, it’s about transformation. None of that comes naturally to me. It requires humility. It requires trusting God in places where I used to rely on myself, often through control, pride, or escape. When I feel weak, I am reminded that I am not doing this in my own strength. God meets me in the hard places and gives me what I need for today.

When step work feels exhausting or too hard and I think of quitting, I call my sponsor. Like that coach in the movie, he encourages me that this work doesn’t just feel or seem hard, it indeed is hard. If this was easy work everyone would do it. If I keep on going and do not quit when things get hard, I will experience the promises of recovery in my life. Peace, freedom, happiness, contentment, and connection all start to show up, and that is what makes recovery great.

Prayer
God, let me feel Your strength when things get hard. Help me to keep on going. I don’t always feel strong or hopeful, but I don’t want to give up. Help me keep doing the work even when I don’t feel like it. Give me courage to keep going. Amen.