Making Things Right

Recovery didn’t take away my first instinct. It gave me a choice about what to do after it shows up.

Whoever hides their sins will not be successful, but whoever confesses their sins and stops doing wrong will receive mercy. Proverbs 28:13

I owed an amends to my wife. That’s never fun. All joking intended. In one of my recent writings, I attributed a line to a well known speaker that my wife has been saying to me for years. I honestly believed I had heard it from that speaker. My wife had told me more than once that it was her thought, but I assumed she had picked it up from the same source and just personalized it. When I used the quote publicly and credited someone else, I undervalued her. She asked me why I didn’t give her the credit.

That question stirred something in me. My addiction to being right kicked in. My need for control showed up fast. My first instinct was still to prove myself right. I decided to look it up and find out where the quote came from. What I found surprised me. There was no original source. No author. No famous speaker who came up with it. It wasn’t a quote at all. It was original. My wife had come up with it. I hadn’t just misattributed a line. I hadn’t believed her. That hurt her. But I didn’t stay there. When I found out the truth, I didn’t ignore it or hide from it. I didn’t pretend I hadn’t seen it. I had to face it and own it.

That meant I needed to make amends. I started by admitting I was wrong. I told my wife the truth about what I did and why I didn’t credit her. I came clean and owned my part fully. That wasn’t easy. The other part of the amends was correcting it publicly. So here goes. In a recent devotion I wrote called “A Decision, Followed by a Process,” that line came from my beautiful wife, Danielle. I did in fact hear a speaker talk about it and use that line. That speaker was my wife. I also went back and corrected the original post to give my wife credit for the quote. Before recovery, I would have defended myself. I would have continued to prove I was right. I would have avoided the apology and completely skipped the correction. Today, I get to be honest with myself, with my wife, and with you. I still have much work to do. I’m not finished. God isn’t finished with me either. This is the gift of recovery for me.

Prayer
God, help me be honest when my instinct is to defend myself. Show me my part and give me the courage to own it. Help me make things right when I get it wrong. I’m still learning. Thank You for staying with me as I do. Amen.