STILL SMALL VOICE

(An excerpt from my book Hearing God’s Voice Every Day!)

Many people talk about the “still small voice”. I know I have heard about God’s still small voice from the very beginning of my Christian walk over 40 years ago. Yes. I have been walking with God for over 40 years. Wow! I have to say that just hit me, on another level. And seeing it written down here on the page myself, it was like a mini revelation hit me in my spirit. That still small voice churning inside me leaving an impression of something I will research, look up and pray on it. I will share this with you, there is something about doing something for 40 days or 40 years in the Bible. Many things happened after 40 years or 40 days. I feel extremely excited and encouraged about this.

THE BACKGROUND

This still small voice that we talk about comes from a reference in the Bible. The event happened with Elijah and is recorded in 1 Kings 19.

Elijah had pronounced a drought on the land (1 Kings 17:1) that lasted three and a half years (James 5:17). He gave this pronouncement to King Ahab. King Ahab was one of the most wicked and evil kings of Israel that ever lived. He was married to Jezebel who was a worshipper and prophetess of Baal. She was evil, a witch, a false prophet, and a devil worshipper. After giving this pronouncement Elijah left for the Brook Cherith (1 Kings 17:3-7) where God miraculously fed him with bread and meat for about a year until the brook dried up. He then went to Zarephath which is in Sidon. Now, this may not seem like a big deal, except that Jezebel was Queen of the Sidonians. She was from Sidon and lived in Sidon. Here again, God miraculously provided for Elijah by means of a widow woman who did not have enough to feed her or her son, so they were about to eat their last meal of a small cake from a handful of flour and a little bit of oil before they died. (1 Kings 17:8-12) But God not only miraculously sustained Elijah, He also miraculously provided for this widow woman and her son for two and a half more years until the drought ended. (1 Kings 17:16-16). During Elijah’s stay with them, this woman’s son dies, and Elijah raises him from the dead. (1 Kings 17:17-24). I hope you are getting the picture here. Elijah was a mighty man of God. He hears from God and does what God says to him. He is experiencing and performing many miracles. These miracles are a confirmation stamp of his hearing from God. I mean he knows how to hear from God. Look, he heard from God and did what he had heard and then miracles happened. And he heard and did these things amid some scary and difficult situations.

He then challenges Ahab, Jezebel, and 450 of her false prophets of Baal as well as 400 false prophets of Asherah to a duel. (1 Kings 18:19). Ahab and Jezebel had sent out decrees everywhere and made it known that they were hunting for and wanting to kill Elijah. And anyone that knew where Elijah was and did not report it would be put to death. Jezebel had been hunting down all of God’s prophets and killing them, not just Elijah. As I read about this I can visualize and think of the movie series Star Wars. Do you remember how the evil emperor Palpatine and Darth Vader hunted down and killed all the Jedi? During this manhunt, Elijah shows himself to Ahab again (1 Kings 18:17). There is a great challenge between Elijah and 850 of Jezebel’s false prophets. In this showdown, the fire of God comes down from heaven and consumed the offering and all the water that Elijah had poured on it. Elijah then proceeds to execute with a sword all 850 of these false prophets (1 Kings 18:20-40). It is events like this that cause me to ask questions. This is no small feat. I mean he had to swing a sword at least 850 times. If he killed them each on the first attempt. And what about the rest? Did they all just stand there in line waiting their turn for Elijah to kill them? Did they resist at all? Something miraculous was happening for Elijah to be able to execute them all. Just imagine lifting your hand 850 times with nothing in it, let alone a heavy sword. After this event, Elijah tells Ahab, now the drought is over, and the heavy rain is coming. Ahab leaves and heads for Jezreel in his chariot – the King’s Chariot – the fastest chariot in the land – to beat the rain. God’s Spirit then comes upon Elijah and Elijah outruns on foot Ahab’s chariot to Jezreel, by the Spirit of the Lord. These events are chalked full of one miracle after another. Another sign attesting to Elijah hearing from God.

Ahab tells Jezebel about what happened, and Jezebel sends a message to Elijah that she will do the same to Elijah, that Elijah had done to her false prophets, by this same time the very next day. When Elijah heard this, he ran for his life. We next find Elijah hiding under a tree. He is feeling sorry for himself and asks God to take his life. Elijah then falls asleep. I have experienced this type of sorrow; I would actually classify it as depression. Where the desire to live, to do anything, is gone and all your mind and body want to do is escape in sleep. There is no energy left in your body. Next, an Angel shows up and wakes Elijah from his sleep and feeds him. Elijah eats what the Angel gives him and then Elijah falls back asleep. The Angel shows up another time and feeds Elijah again. After eating what the Angel fed him, Elijah falls back asleep again. A third time the Angel of the Lord wakes Elijah up and feeds him. This time the Angel tells him that his next journey is too great, and he will need the nourishment of this food being fed to him. He travels for 40 days and 40 nights on the strength of that food and ends up in a cave on Mount Horeb. (1 Kings 19:1-8).

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

In his flight from Jezebel Elijah tells God he is done. He “taps out”, or “throws in the towel” if you understand that analogy. In wrestling if a competitor no longer wants to continue, he taps the mat; in boxing, they can throw a towel in over the ropes; and when the referee sees this he will step in and end the fight. It is a sign of resignation or surrender. Elijah was giving up, he no longer wanted to fight in this battle. He asks God to take his life. Notice Elijah did not die that night, but he was done. I can relate to this thinking and feeling. Sometimes you just get tired of fighting. We are in a battle, a fight against the enemy of our soul. Our enemy is not constrained by the natural limitations of food, water, and sleep that we in our natural bodies are. God has given us a comforter to help us. The Holy Spirit. He helps us and strengthens us when we are weak and tired.

Elijah has just spent the night in this cave on Mount Horeb and the word of the LORD came to him saying “What are you doing here Elijah?”. Elijah starts to complain in modern terms “I love God and have been His faithful servant, but God’s people have forsaken their covenant with Him and burned the churches and now they want to kill me too.” Elijah’s response did not answer the question that God asked him. “What are you doing here?” Elijah was still caught up in feeling sorry for himself. Raise your hand if you have ever been there. I see that hand. If you are being honest with yourself your hand is raised just like mine is.

I find it interesting that during this exchange God is still speaking to Elijah and Elijah is still clearly hearing the Lord speak with him the whole time.

The next thing we see is God passing by the opening of the cave and as He does there are demonstrations or manifestations of God’s presence as the elements of nature respond with a great strong wind, which tore into the mountains (plural) and broke the rocks into pieces, followed by an earthquake and then a fire. (1 Kings 19:11-12) And it says that the Lord was not in the wind, He was not in the earthquake nor was He in the fire. But after all of these great manifestations, there was a still small voice. And when Elijah heard that still small voice, he wrapped his face to go see and hear more. The commentators tell us that this was the same mountain where Moses had covered his face when God’s presence came down on the mountain with wind, earthquake, and fire. (Ex 19:16) Suddenly a voice came to Elijah and said, “What are you doing here Elijah?” Elijah repeats his complaining still feeling sorry for himself as before.

I have come across many people that seem to think that if God spoke dramatically to them or something spectacular happened to get their attention then they would change. But we see just the opposite of that here. Even amid all these events, I mean right smack dab in the middle, Elijah was still stuck on feeling sorry for himself. Stuck on what the natural situation and circumstances were saying to him at the time.

You and I are no different from Elijah. Listen to what James, the brother of our Lord had to say about Elijah.

Elijah was a human being with a nature such as we have [with feelings, affections, and a constitution like ours]; and he prayed earnestly for it not to rain, and no rain fell on the earth for three years and six months. And [then] he prayed again and the heavens supplied rain and the land produced its crops [as usual].
James 5:17-18 AMP

Did you catch that? Elijah was a human being and had a nature like we do. He had emotions, feelings affections and a constitution just like we do. I am not putting Elijah down in any way. I am merely trying to point out that although he did all these awesome things and God used him so mightily, and God spoke so dramatically to him, Elijah was just a human being like me and YOU. And even though we have feelings and emotions that hinder us or sidetrack us, they do not stop God from using us in the same way as he did Elijah.

It seems that Elijah was running from what God told him to do. God’s question to Elijah, “What are you doing here?’ And then God reiterates the question once He gets Elijah’s attention and Elijah begins to listen to that still small voice. This speaks to me. I know there have been times when things are dry, I mean I cannot seem to hear the still small voice at all. And when I reflect and look back those are times when I know I have not done the last thing God told me to do. If you seem stuck, try to think, and remember, what is the last thing you know for sure that God told you to do. The last thing you had a passion or burden for that you have yet to do. Go and do it. After you do, you will see the revelation begin to flow again. “The day will dawn, and the morning star will rise in your heart” as Peter said. (2 Peter 1:19). This is a visual depiction of how God’s Word, His illumination comes to us.

(An excerpt from my book Hearing God’s Voice Every Day!)

HOW JESUS USED THE WORD OF GOD

(An excerpt from my book Hearing God’s Voice Every Day!)

We are going to take a peek at how Jesus used the Word of God in His daily life. Here is one example that we have. Now remember Jesus was alone, all by Himself when these events happened. So how do we know about them? He told His disciples and had them record it. It must have been important for Him to specifically recall it, and have the to do so. We see the interchnage in Luke 4:1-13

¹ Then Jesus, being filled with the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan and was led by the Spirit into the wilderness,

Jesus is our example of how we should live our lives and how we should do things. Jesus heard from God, and He used the word of God when He dealt with the tempter – the devil. Jesus is our example. Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness, a deserted place. Jesus was alone. All by Himself. No other human person was with Him.

²being tempted for forty days by the devil. And in those days, He ate nothing, and afterward, when they had ended, He was hungry.

Jesus was tempted for 40 days by the devil. Let me say that again. Jesus was tempted by the devil. Not by God. The devil is the tempter. We have the account of only three occurrences here, but it clearly says He was tempted for 40 days. He was also fasting for 40 days and afterward he was hungry. Then comes the tempter again. Are you seeing the picture here? Medical science tells us that around day 40 of not eating starvation begins and people usually start to die. He was literally starving when tempted to turn the stone into bread. He was HUNGRY.

³And the devil said to Him, “If You are the Son of God, command this stone to become bread.”

The tempter tempts us when and where we are weak. He tempts us where we have a NEED. He challenges our status and authority, as well as our natural desire to survive and live.

⁴But Jesus answered him, saying, “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God.’ ” (Deut. 8:3)

Jesus used the Word of God to fight off the temptation. No doubt Jesus was hungry it tells us so – but that He was tempted means He thought about doing it. Sometimes we think that since Jesus was God and He always was constantly thinking God’s thoughts. But it clearly says that Jesus was tempted. He thought about doing it. James 1:13-14 tells us clearly that God does not ever tempt anyone but instead, each of us is tempted by our own desires. What kept Him in check? What helped Him in the midst of this temptation to stay strong? It was the written Word of God. Jesus is That Mana. He IS the Word of God and the Bread of Life, and even He used the established written Word of God in His battle.

⁵Then the devil, taking Him up on a high mountain, showed Him all the kingdoms of the world in a moment of time.⁶ And the devil said to Him, “All this authority I will give You, and their glory; for this has been delivered to me, and I give it to whomever I wish. ⁷Therefore, if You will worship before me, all will be Yours.”

Again, the tempter attacks Jesus in an area where He has a NEED. A desire (James 1:14) Jesus came into the world for this purpose. He came to take back the authority that Adam lost in the Garden of Eden. And Jesus thought about it. Maybe just a millisecond, but He did think about it. If Jesus never thought about doing it, then it would not have been a temptation.

⁸ And Jesus answered and said to him, “Get behind Me, Satan! For it is written, ‘You shall worship the LORD your God, and Him only you shall serve.’ “ (Deut. 6:13)

I love how Jesus rebukes that old slimeball. Get behind Me satan. It means do not tempt me, I reject you, your statements, your beliefs, and your quotes. It means you did not do what you attempted or tried. We have some more modern ways of saying that. Get lost, Get out of my way, Take a hike, Beat it, Kick rocks, Take a long walk off a short pier, and Don’t let the door hit you on your way out. You choose which one fits your style, but they all have the same inference.

⁹ Then he brought Him to Jerusalem, set Him on the pinnacle of the temple, and said to Him, “If You are the Son of God, throw Yourself down from here. ¹⁰ For it is written: ‘He shall give His angels charge over you, to keep you,’ ¹¹ “and, ‘In their hands they shall bear you up, Lest you dash your foot against a stone.’ “

(Psalm 91:11-12)

This part I think is the most enlightening. The enemy used the scripture to try and trick Jesus. Jesus had been using scripture the whole time. So, the enemy tries to use something that Jesus is familiar with and is a source of strength for Him, to cause Him to let down His guard. This tells us that it is not only important for us to know what the words in the word of God are, but we must also know what they mean and how to apply them.

¹² And Jesus answered and said to him, “It has been said, ‘You shall not tempt the LORD your God.’ “

(Deut 6:16)

If Jesus the Son of God in the flesh… needed to learn, know, and use the scriptures… my friends we need to as well, and even more so. Jesus whipped the devil with three verses all from the book of Deuteronomy (see citations). We have 66 books of the Bible, and we can use them all. Get behind me, devil!

¹³Now when the devil had ended every temptation, he departed from Him until an opportune time.

Just because you have one victory over the enemy doesn’t mean you will never have another opportunity. The devil will keep looking for an opportune time to try and get at you. Just like he did with Jesus. This is why we need to stay tuned into God and His word. There will be another time. We need to be prepared and ready.

But evil men and impostors will grow worse and worse, has deceiving and being deceived. But you must continue in the things which you have learned and been assured of, knowing from whom you have learned them, and that from childhood you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, 2 Timothy 3:13-16

Every Scripture is God-breathed (given by His inspiration) and profitable for instruction, for reproof and conviction of sin, for correction of error and discipline in obedience, [and] for training in righteousness (in holy living, in conformity to God’s will in thought, purpose, and action), 2 Timothy 3:16 (Amplified Version)

The word of God is our “reed”. It’s a standard that we use to judge all things against. Let God be true and every man a Liar. (Romans 3:4).

His Word is forever settled in Heaven (Psalm 119:89)
He has exalted His Word above His Name (Psalm 138:2)
His Name is Called the Word of God (Revelation 19:13)
Jesus is the Word (John 1:1-14)
God works with and confirms His Word (Mark 16:20)

God’s Word keeps us safe and secure. We can trust His word implicitly. As we continue in His word, we are His disciples (sheep) and then we will know the Truth and that Truth will make us free.

³¹Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, “If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed. ³² And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” John 8:31-32

This may seem like a simple point, and straightforward, but I cannot emphasize it enough. As we continue in God’s word, the more we read, learn, and know, the more we will learn and know. This then makes it easier to hear God’s voice. Because we start to know God’s nature. What He likes and doesn’t like; what pleases Him; what His will is in given situations, (His Word is His will), then we can more easily know when He is speaking to us. Because we know God will never violate His word. He will speak in conjunction with what He has previously said in the past. “He is the same yesterday, today, and forever.” Hebrews 13:8. Jesus said, “to him that more will be given” Mark 4:25. And when Jesus said this, He was talking about having ears to hear. He said to watch what you hear and how you hear. And the degree of hearing is in proportion to the degree of importance you give to hearing. (Mark 4:22-25)

(An excerpt from my book Hearing God’s Voice Every Day!)

Fear Disguised as Discernment

Faith Over Fear

I recently had to ask myself an uncomfortable question: Am I truly waiting on God, or am I stalling because of fear?

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. James 1:5

Lately I have been asking myself an uncomfortable question. When I say I am waiting on God, am I really just afraid of change and settling for what feels familiar? My wife and I have been talking about a major life decision. I found myself quickly dismissing it without even thinking or praying about it. I convinced myself I was waiting on God. Counting the cost. Being wise. That language sounds scriptural and spiritual, and some of it may even be. Who was I fooling? Not my wife! She is so awesome and patient with me. Once I finally started to think and pray about it seriously, a harder question rose up. Am I truly seeking God’s direction in this area, or am I being intimidated by fear and calling it discernment? I am content with where I am. Or maybe I am just comfortable. Recovery has taught me that fear seldom announces itself and says, “Hey, look at me.” Many times it speaks in very calm, reasonable tones. Sometimes it sounds like wisdom.

Waiting on God and hiding from change can look very similar from the outside. Both involve pausing. Both involve prayer. Both involve caution. The difference is in the motive. Wisdom pauses to listen. Fear pauses to avoid discomfort. Wisdom seeks clarity. Fear seeks certainty. I realized that part of me wanted guarantees. I wanted to know how it would work out. I wanted assurances before taking any step at all. But that is not how faith works. That is not how God leads me. He asks me to take a step of faith, like Peter, stepping out on the water in the middle of the storm. There is a reason He gave me the Holy Spirit. There is a reason He is called the Comforter. Why would I need comfort or a Comforter if I were never to face an uncomfortable situation? And if I were never in an uncomfortable situation, am I really walking in faith? Scripture tells me to seek God and ask Him for wisdom. God provides the outcomes. He does give assurance according to His promises. And His promises come after I step out in faith and obedience. It is up to me to seek God’s will, and ask for direction then act in obedience.

Recovery has given me the ability to examine my motives honestly. Once I see them, I don’t beat myself up for them. I acknowledge them and admit the truth of what I see. The truth is, I am afraid. I feel uncertain about the decision. At the same time, comfort is available. I also have the desire and willingness to seek God’s will. I don’t want fear making decisions for me, and I don’t want impatience making them either. I want clarity. If God says stay, I will stay. If He says move, I will move. My responsibility isn’t to avoid the question or force an answer. My responsibility is to seek Him sincerely and be willing to act when He makes the direction clear. That cannot happen if I never even ask or seek Him. When I do that, I am practicing honesty and humility instead of control. It is liberating. Being able to recognize and see my true self – that is the gift of recovery for me.

Prayer

Father, help me recognize when I am being intimidated by fear. Teach me how to seek Your will and trust Your promises even when the path ahead is uncertain. Give me the courage to act when You make the way clear. Help me walk by faith and not by fear. Amen.

GOD’S HEARING AIDES

(An excerpt from my book Hearing God’s Voice Every Day!)

God has placed safeguards for us. These safeguards serve more than one purpose. They help us stay safe “so we are not lead astray by every wind of doctrine” (Ephesians 4:14), they help us stay strong against the enemy, they help us “rightly dividing His Word” (2 Timothy 2:15), they help us hear Him better (Hebrews 5:14), they help us develop our own fruit (John 15:5) (fruit of the spirit and spiritual fruit – two different things – but that’s another lesson), they help us to “tune in” to His frequency.

HIS FREQUENCY

The description of a radio is a great example of how this works. Think of a radio station. It is always broadcasting. If I am unable to hear station 99.1 on my radio, I have to do some troubleshooting to figure out why. Do I have a proper radio that will pick up the frequency? Do I have an antenna? And is the antenna the right kind? Am I connected to a power source either electric current or battery-operated? Do I have the radio turned on? Is the radio tuned to the correct channel and band (AM or FM)? Once I have the signal, is it fine-tuned to pick it up clearly? Do I have the volume set to the right level? Each one of these things can cause me to not be able to hear the broadcast coming from the station. Or to not hear it clearly. I do not think anyone would automatically assume the station was not broadcasting if they couldn’t hear the station. It is the same way with God. He is always broadcasting – He is always speaking to us. If we are not able to hear Him, then we need to first check our “equipment” to make sure it’s not broken and it’s working properly and make sure that it is plugged into the power source and tuned to the correct channel.

In this analogy, our equipment or radio is our born-again conscience, the Word of God, and praying in the spirit. Our equipment is also a safeguard for us to keep us on the correct path and make sure we do not tune into a different channel or be misled or deceived in any way.

SAFEGUARDS

Let us talk about some of these safeguards. There are many safeguards God has set in order, to help and guide us. The list below is by no means exhaustive, but merely a few examples to help us think about things differently. When we begin to think from a kingdom mindset then we demonstrate the true repentance that both John the Baptist and Jesus preached. For the Kingdom of Heaven is surely “at hand”.

His Word
Our Born-Again Conscience
Praying in the Spirit
Holy Spirit
Meditating
Worship
Peace
Spiritual Mentors (Discipleship – not TV/ Radio ministers) – Relationship is involved.

For this lesson, we will address His Word and our born-again conscience. In the next chapter, we will cover praying in the spirit.

HIS WORD

Although to some it may seem self-evident that God’s word would be a basic safety net when wanting to hear from God, even though it may seem this way, many people do not connect the dots and do not understand this concept.

Having a basic understanding of God’s word helps us to know when God is speaking to us. We have a measurement tool to use and verify if the content is from the same source. We take what we hear or perceive and hold it up next to God’s word and see if they say the same or similar thing.

My son, give attention to my words; Incline your ear to my sayings. Do not let them depart from your eyes; Keep them in the midst of your heart; For they are life to those who find them, And health to all their flesh. Proverbs 4:20-22 Amplified

As we incline our ears to His Word and give priority to His word, His word will be life and health to our flesh.

I have restrained my feet from every evil way, That I may keep Your word. Psalm 119:101

This says that we must restrain ourselves from evil so that we can keep His word.

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. Psalm 119:105

His word sheds light on our path which means He leads us and directs and guides us. A lamp to our feet means we will not stub our toe or stumble because the light is on our feet where we walk. This shows us that not only does God give us broad big picture direction, but He will also give us the small details and make sure that where we go is lit up. Of course, we have to listen to and obey His word to see this result.

You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you.John 15:3

His word makes us clean and pure. One of my favorite verses in the Bible is Matthew 5:8 “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” We are clean and pure before God when we hear His word. This gives us confidence that we can come before Him with boldness.

Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words will by no means pass away. Matthew 24:35

His word will never pass away. It says that Heaven and earth will pass away. We know from Revelation 21:1 that at the end of the age, heaven and earth will pass away and there will be a new heaven and a new earth. But His word will remain. He is the Word.

These verses above outline for us some of the ways that doing this protects us and keeps us safe. God’s words bring us life and health, they keep us from evil, and they shed light on our path so we will know God’s will for our lives. They keep us clean, and pure in our minds and souls. And they can be counted on and relied upon until the end of time – forever.

God and His word are One. Jesus is the Word of God. (John 1:1) The Word of God is God. I am not referring to the ink, paper, and binding of a book, but the words contained on the pages. The Spirit of those words. Imagine the more you know God’s word, the more you know God. I would like to add a caveat to that statement. What does it mean to know God’s word? I do not mean just being able to read, memorize and recite words. The word must get inside of you, it must be real and come alive. The word is a light that “shines in the darkness” of your heart and mind (John 1:5) “until the day dawns, and the morning star rises in your heart” (2 Peter 1:19). When this happens, it brings a spiritual understanding and establishes what you have heard. This is also called a revelation. Paul refers to this as having the eyes of your understanding enlightened so that you may know His will. (Ephesians 1:18)

Have you ever heard the phrase “it just dawned on me”? This verse in 2 Peter is where that phrase comes from. And when someone uses that phrase, they are referring to something that just became aware to them in their mind. Something they were not previously thinking about or may not have understood. Then suddenly a light bulb goes off on the inside and a fresh new perspective arises inside. That is the day dawning in your heart. That is revelation straight from God.

(An excerpt from my book Hearing God’s Voice Every Day!)

Serenity Prayer

A Guided Prayer Meditation

Serenity Prayer is not just words I repeat in meetings. It is more than that. It has become a new way of thinking, practicing surrender, and living my life each day. This is how I practice it in real life. I use the full prayer.

God,

God is the source of my help, not me. I need help from a power greater than me. (Step 1) He is God and I am not.

Grant me the Serenity

I need peace and sanity in my life and I cannot get it by myself or I would already possess it. I am insane. I have crazy thinking. Things either now are or will get chaotic beyond my control.

To accept the things I cannot change.

My challenge is acceptance. Acceptance is the answer to all of my problems today. I cannot change things no matter how much I think I might be able to.

The courage to change the things I can,

Change is not easy. It is actually very hard. That is why it takes courage, courage which I do not possess on my own. I need God to give me courage. After I accept whatever it is that I can change, then I need to confront it with God’s help.

And the wisdom to know the difference.

I need God’s wisdom to help me know what I have control over and what I do not. The wisdom to know what I need to change and what I cannot change.

Living one day at a time,

It helps me to take things in small chunks. “The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” Confucius. I can do something for a few hours that I would not be able to do if I thought I had to do it for the rest of my life.

Enjoying one moment at a time;

I need God’s help to enjoy life, to stop and smell the roses. I mean literally stop while I am walking and bend over and smell the flowers. Not just figurative talk. I need to enjoy life and not be so negative.

Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace;

I do not like this part of the prayer. I do not want any hardship at all. Ever. But that is unrealistic thinking and it sets me up for future resentments. So I ask God to help me accept hardship and then ask Him to show me a pathway toward peace in the midst of it.

Taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is;

This tells me that Jesus practiced acceptance too. He lived and operated in this sinful world and as it was. He did God’s will in the midst of chaos and evil.

Not as I would have it;

He did not insist that everyone do it His way, even though His way was God’s way. He allowed people to make their own choices. He accepted and loved them anyway, even though they did things against God’s will and His plan. I need to release my demand that others live according to my expectations.

Trusting

I ask God to help me trust. Sometimes trusting Him is easy and sometimes trusting Him is very hard. The man in the Bible said, “Lord I believe; help my unbelief.” (Mark 9:24). After I learn to trust God, it becomes easier to start trusting others. Something I never did before recovery.

That You will make all things right

I can trust that He cares about me and for me. He is a loving, caring God who will bring good and make wrong things right if I surrender to Him and His will.

If I surrender to Your will;

Surrender is the key. I need to raise the white flag and surrender to God and to His will, holding up both hands in a humble posture.

So that I may be reasonably happy in this life

Happiness is a choice. Some say happiness is temporary but joy is eternal. I believe I can be reasonably happy, and many times very happy, in this life while still living in lasting joy.

And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Nothing gives more peace than knowing my eternal destiny is secure. That at the end of my life here on earth, I will go to heaven and be with Him forever.

AMEN

Amen means so be it. Let it happen. Or as I have heard in meetings, Let it begin with me.

God Met Me In My Mess

The Moment I Stopped Trying to Earn God’s Love

Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16

I felt trapped in a vicious cycle that I couldn’t escape. No matter how hard I tried, I kept repeating the same destructive behaviors. I would pray and plead, “God, please take this urge away,” but the moment of relief never lasted. Like the proverb says, I kept returning to my own vomit. Each time I failed, the shame grew heavier until I started to believe that maybe this was just who I was now. I felt hopeless, discouraged, and distant from God. How could He possibly take me back again? I knew better, and that made it worse. I loved God deeply, but I was too embarrassed to pray. I repented, but I still carried guilt like a permanent scar. Even when I did pray, I found myself begging for forgiveness over and over, as if His mercy depended on how sorry I felt. Though I knew in my head that He promised forgiveness, I didn’t believe it enough to feel it in my heart. Slowly, without even realizing it, I stopped praying altogether.

Through recovery, something began to change. At every meeting, we prayed, once to open and once to close. So that meant I prayed. I was praying again. The prayers were familiar and I recognized the words, but now they seemed more real to me. I had a spiritual awakening, realizing that even simple, common prayers carry deep meaning when spoken from the heart. God reached me there, taking the little bit I had to give and welcomed me. He didn’t reject me or chastise me for not doing it better. He just accepted me as I was, and He came to meet me right there. I started to feel like I was getting to know God, not just about Him.

My relationship with God began to deepen, and prayer was becoming a conversation. I laid down my facade and was finally being honest. I could talk to Him about anything and everything. I started having discussions with God like I would another person. I started sharing my struggles, fears, and plans with God. I thanked Him, asked His advice and opinion, and I even questioned Him. What was important was that I stopped lying to God and told Him the truth. The amazing thing is that the more honest I was with Him, the more I trusted Him, and the more peace I felt. Prayer wasn’t about earning His approval anymore, it was about connection. I discovered God wasn’t waiting for me to get it right; He was waiting for me to get real.

Prayer:
Father, thank You for accepting me right where I am. Thank You that I don’t have to perform or pretend to earn Your love. Teach me to keep coming to You honestly, without fear or shame. Help me to grow in our conversation and to stay open to Your voice every day. Amen.

Recovery On the Go

God speaks in quiet moments, even behind the steering wheel.

Your ears will hear a command behind you saying, “This is the way. Walk in it.” Isaiah 30:21

Yesterday I had an early morning doctor appointment, and it threw off my whole rhythm. I had to leave the house much earlier than normal, which meant no time for my regular routine. Every morning I grab a cup of coffee, sit in my chair, read, pray, meditate, and get centered. It is my anchor. When I realized I would not have time for any of that, I was frustrated. I had not even thought about how this appointment would affect my morning ritual. I rushed to get ready and headed out the door with my mind still irritated.

As I drove, I felt God prompting me with a question, why was I so bothered and upset by this? I said to myself it was because I missed my devotion time, but inwardly I knew there was something deeper, there always is. As I got quiet, I saw it. It was control and insecurity. My routine helps me feel safe and grounded. Then another new thought came to me. Why not have my “me” time right now while driving? I could not read, but I could still pray. I could still meditate. I could still think about how to live the principles today. That simple shift opened up something new in me. I realized I do not have to be tied to a specific ritual for it to count. I can connect with God and focus on my recovery anywhere, anytime. These tools travel with me. My spiritual life is not limited to one chair and one timeframe.

By the time I reached the appointment, I felt great. I was more centered than when I left the house. I gave myself grace and remembered something important; I have a program. The program does not have me. Routines may help me, but they do not own me. Missing one reading does not mean I failed. It simply means I get to practice flexibility and trust that God meets me wherever I am. If I want, I can always read later. When I am flexible and embrace new ideas, I am learning and growing. I am improving my conscious contact with God. It is when I connect with Him and not a routine that I truly feel safe.

Prayer:

Father, thank You that my recovery tools travel with me. Help me stay flexible and open so I can connect with You anywhere and in any moment. Teach me to trust You more than my routines, and remind me that You always meet me right where I am.