What Was So Good About Friday?

What felt like the worst day of my life… became the turning point.

Why do we call it Good Friday? It’s the day Jesus Christ died for our sins. It’s the day He paid the price for everything that had gone wrong. That’s what we’ve been told. That’s what we know. But if you really think about it… there was nothing good about that day when it was happening.

It was betrayal, pain, and loss. Jesus was in agony, knowing what was coming. He was betrayed by one of His own, denied by another, and left alone by the rest. He was beaten, mocked, falsely accused, and sentenced to die. There was nothing about that moment that felt good. It looked like the worst possible outcome.

And honestly… I’ve had a day like that too.

A time in my life where everything fell apart. I felt lost, broken, and alone. I couldn’t think straight. I cried more than I ever had. I felt abandoned, unloved, and unwanted. I didn’t want to live… but I didn’t have the courage to die. That was my bottom. That was my version of a “Good Friday,” and there was nothing good about it when I was in it.

But looking back now… I see it differently.

That was the place where everything started to change. That pain brought me to a place where I was finally willing to do something different. It humbled me enough to admit I needed help, and gave me just enough willingness to ask for it. That’s where recovery started for me. Not when things got better… but when everything broke.

I believed in God before that, but I hadn’t surrendered. Not really. When I finally did—when I let go of trying to control everything and started trusting Him—that’s when my life began to change.

So when I think about why it’s called Good Friday… I understand it now.

Not because it felt good. Not because it looked good. But because of what came out of it.

That was my Good Friday.

Reflection:

Have you had a “Good Friday” moment when life broke you enough to make you reach out for help? How did God meet you in that moment?

He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed. Isaiah 53:5

Faith That Shows Up

Trusting the Process

I used to think faith was something I believed. Now I’m learning it’s something I do. Showing up, even for 15 minutes, changed more than I expected.

Faith means being sure of the things we hope for and knowing that something is real even if we do not see it. Hebrews 11:1

The topic in my meeting last night was, what does faith mean to me. I paused for a moment, because sometimes I can get stuck on how something is said and completely miss the meaning and intent. So, I decided to try and consider what was really being asked instead. I used to only attribute faith to biblical principles and ideas. But the phrasing of the question, and listening to others share, got me thinking about it differently. I wanted to identify the practical application of faith, especially as it relates to my recovery. As I listened, I was reminded of when I first started recovery and hearing the phrase, “Keep coming back, it works.” Honestly, that sounded cute, but it didn’t make much sense to me at the time. How was going to a meeting and listening to other people’s problems going to fix anything around me? I was looking for answers to my own problems, not take on someone else’s too. I wanted to figure things out and control the situation. But something in me was willing to take a chance anyway. This was something new, something I knew nothing about. It was a risk. It meant trusting something that didn’t make sense. It was a paradox.

I remember one time I showed up late to a meeting because of work and everything else going on. I only caught the last 15 minutes. I almost didn’t go. I thought, what’s the point? Drive all the way there just for it to be over. But I went anyway and I stayed. And I got something out of those 15 minutes. Honestly, I got a lot out of it. After the meeting, my sponsor told me something I’ve never forgotten. He said, a little bit of recovery is better than no recovery at all. That stuck with me. Showing up like that, going anyway just for 15 minutes, that was faith. Staying after the meeting and talking with my sponsor was faith. It was doing the next right thing. It was taking action even when I didn’t feel like it or understand it. That is what faith means to me.

What I’ve found is that when I keep coming back, something starts to change. Not everything around me, but something inside me. I begin to change. And even when that wasn’t my original goal, it became the result. Faith, for me, is being willing to trust the process, even when everything in me is telling me otherwise. It’s believing something good can come out of all the pain of my past, even when I don’t see it yet. It’s practical. It shows up in action, in willingness, going to meetings and working the steps. And little by little, I see it working. My life has gotten better one step, one action at a time.

Prayer
Father, help me to trust You even when it doesn’t make sense. Give me the willingness to show up and take the next right step. Teach me how to live this out in my daily life. Amen.

Self Reliance

Back to Basics

I still need God. I still need people. That hasn’t changed.

Trust the Lord completely, and don’t depend on your own knowledge. Proverbs 3:5

I was recently asked to share at a beginners meeting. What I heard in the readings was this reminder: go to meetings and share when I can, get a sponsor, work all the Steps in order starting with Step One, read recovery literature every day, and use the phone between meetings. And I saw something subtle lurking inside me. It’s easy for me to become complacent as things get better. As I experience more peace and happiness, I can drift and forget what brought me here. It reminded me why I came to recovery in the first place. It reminded me not to become complacent, not to drift, not to start thinking I did this on my own. If I could have found this peace and happiness through my own self-reliance, I would have. But I didn’t. I couldn’t. It eluded me at every turn, no matter how much I longed for it.

Realizing that I need God and other people humbles me. It keeps me simple. It keeps me seeking. It reminds me I haven’t arrived and I don’t have it all together. That kind of thinking leads me right back to relapse. It takes me back to old behaviors and a life I no longer want. I need this. I need Him. I need people.

So what do I do? I pray. I sincerely pray and seek God for His will, His wisdom, and His direction in my life. I choose to accept the changes He wants to make in me. I reach out to other people and am vulnerable, sharing my true self. That keeps me humble. It pushes back pride. Living this way has brought me what matters most to me now. Something I longed for my whole life but didn’t even know I was missing. That is connection. Real relationships. First with God, and then with other people. And that is the gift of recovery for me.

Prayer
Father, help me to continue doing the next right thing. Help me keep doing what I did in the beginning. Thank You for reminding me that I need not only You but others. Give me the courage to continue this journey and keep reaching out and seeking help. Amen.

Why I Need to Be Right

Hearing vs Proving

I didn’t realize how much I needed to be right… until I saw how it kept me from actually listening.

My dear brothers and sisters, always be willing to listen and slow to speak. Do not become angry easily. James 1:19

I was having a conversation with a friend, and we had different opinions about something. It wasn’t heated, we just saw things differently and were discussing it. At one point, we were both talking at the same time, neither one of us really listening. I remember saying, “You’re not listening. You keep interrupting me.” That was when our discussion turned into an argument. And I was convinced they were the problem.

Later, I prayed about it. I was seeking God’s wisdom about the situation. But I was also asking God to show me how I was right and they were wrong. But instead, God showed me something different. He showed me I was doing the exact same thing. When I was saying that they were not listening and kept interrupting me, I was talking over them too. I wasn’t listening either. And what He really showed me was a shift in my mindset. Instead of saying, “You’re not listening,” I could have said, “I feel like I’m unheard. I feel like what I say doesn’t matter.” That’s different. That would have been more honest and vulnerable. Because I really don’t know what’s going on inside of them, but I do have an idea of what’s going on inside me.

I also know that is recovery. Keeping the focus on me. Staying on my own side of the street. Keeping my nose on my own face. Using I and me statements instead of you. When I shifted my perspective to what I was feeling instead of what they were doing, I saw it. I was feeling like I wasn’t good enough again. That is my character defect being hit. It really had nothing to do with my friend at all. I was feeling unimportant and unheard. That is all me. What really stood out to me was this. I was able to listen when God corrected me, but I wasn’t willing to listen to my friend. With God, I was submitted, open, and willing to hear. But in that conversation, I was more focused on being right than being willing. It makes me think… if I had approached my friend with that same posture, with more humility and respect, I might have actually been able to listen to them in the first place.

When that feeling of not being good enough gets triggered, I start trying to prove myself instead of just being honest about what I feel. With God’s help and the tools of recovery, I am seeing that more clearly. Praying about it helped me pause, take inventory, and give it over to God. But it also showed me something else. The same way I’m willing to listen when God corrects me, I want to start bringing that same willingness into my conversations with other people. Not trying to prove I’m right, but being willing to hear. Being willing to pause. Being willing to stay open. I don’t have to fix the other person. I just have to stay honest about what’s going on in me and be willing to listen. And that changes everything. That is the gift of recovery for me.

Prayer
Father, Teach me how to listen and understand. Help me keep my focus on what’s going on in me, not others. Keep me honest, open, and teachable. Thank You. Amen.

BE STILL AND KNOW

(An excerpt from my book Hearing God’s Voice Every Day!)

Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations; I will be exalted in the earth!
Psalm 46:10

In my study along these lines, I came across this verse. Now I have heard this verse and read it hundreds if not thousands of times. I have used it and quoted it many, many times in ministering to others and in my preaching and teaching. However, I had never taken the time to study this verse. I mean it seemed self-explanatory. I have found that it is often these seemingly obvious verses that once expounded become much larger and more meaningful. Well, this verse is one of those verses. This verse went off inside my being like an explosion.

Be STILL in Hebrew is a verb that is causative and in the imperative tense. That means is before we even can look at what this word means, we need to look at how it is used. Being causative means that whatever this thing is, it causes a result or another action. It leads to something else. That it is in the imperative tells us that it is forceful, a directive, much like a command. This is not optional. So, before we even look at what the definition of this word is, we have an understanding that it is not an option but a directive from the Lord and it will cause something else to happen and follow.

The definition of the word is: to be alone (alone with God), relax, abate, withdraw, refrain, cease. What are we to relax, withdraw, refrain from, or cease from? Talking. BE QUIET. Yep! That is what it means. STOP TALKING. STOP THINKING. If we will do this. If you follow this directive, then it will cause something else to happen.

And KNOW in Hebrew is also a verb. This verb though is casual, although still in the imperative. Casual means that it will happen easily, it just happens. If you do this, then that will happen type of thing. So, to have the “knowing” part of this verse we must first accomplish the “stilling” part of the verse. And the word still being in the imperative tells us again this is not an option. Serving and seeking God is not an a la carte type of thing where we can pick and choose what and how we want to do it. Even though that seems to be a prevalent thought and idea these days, it is not accurate. If we want to receive the promises and blessings God has for us, many times we must follow the prescribed method that God has indicated. In this case… If we want to know that He is God, we must first be still. The reason why is that the word know is the word YADA in Hebrew. This word YADA is huge. Yes, it means to know, but so much more. To see, observe, reflect, hear, perceive, and recognize. It is a word used much about the prophets and prophetic visions and seeing into the future even. It is not just to acknowledge; it is to know things that you cannot know otherwise. It is revelation from God. It is hearing the voice of God.

So, in summary, if we want to hear the voice of God, clearly. (To see and understand), We need to be quiet. We need to stop talking. We need to stop thinking, (trying to figure things out). We need to quiet our mouths and our minds. If we will do this, then the knowing will come. The revelation. The hearing from God. Will happen and happen easily, without effort.

ALONE WITH GOD

We see Jesus alone with God in prayer (Matthew 14:23). And after His time alone in prayer with God, He is seen walking on the water to the disciples and He rescues them. (Matthew 14:25) How did he “know” to go rescue them from up on top of the mountain where He was praying? Jesus said, “I only do those things I see my Father do” (John 5:19). Jesus was “still” with God the Father and in so doing, He “knew” from God the Father what to do.

In another example, we see when the disciples were alone with Jesus, they were “still” with Jesus, that Jesus expounded or made them to “know” all things. (Mark 4:34). Receiving revelation is knowing.

Another time Jesus was alone in prayer and the disciples joined Him, they were “still” (Luke 9:18) and right after this time of being still, Peter has the revelation that Jesus is the Son of God. Jesus told Peter only the Father can reveal or make you “know” this information. And this was different information than what the religious leaders and the masses had. It was even different information than the rest of the other apostles had at the time. (Matthew 16:18)

It is important to be alone with God. To spend time alone with Him. For it is in these times that we encounter the Creator of the universe and Lover of our souls. When we can be still and quiet in His presence and just wait on Him: He shows up; He speaks; He delivers; He heals; He reveals; He refreshes. Wait patiently on the Lord.

But those who wait on the LORD Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31

Waiting on the Lord causes a renewing and refreshing of our soul. It gives us strength to go beyond the natural limitations of our physical body. It gives us endurance.

I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, And in His word I do hope. Psalm 130:5

When waiting on the Lord our soul waits. That is our mind, will, and emotions. So, we are to calm and silence our mind, our will, and our emotions. We wait in silence on Him and hope in His word.

¹ I waited patiently for the LORD; And He inclined to me, And heard my cry. ²He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, Out of the miry clay, And set my feet upon a rock, And established my steps. ³He has put a new song in my mouth– Praise to our God; Many will see it and fear And will trust in the LORD. Psalm 40:1-3

When we wait on Him, He hears us, and He delivers us, He sets us on solid ground and establishes us. We can have confidence that we are stable and secure. We are SAFE. He also puts a new song in our mouths. This speaks of revelation. He fills our mouths with revelation straight from Him. This revelation bypasses our mind and our will as they are silent and quiet as we wait. This shows us the spontaneous nature of revelation. It is all by grace.

(An excerpt from my book Hearing God’s Voice Every Day!)

Focus on the Solution

The Next Right Step

When I finally moved, I discovered God had already been helping me.

Do what God’s teaching says; when you only listen and do nothing, you are fooling yourselves. James 1:22

It’s paradoxical. When I focus on the problem instead of the solution, I stay stuck in it. I get frustrated and angry. The why me’s and the if only’s come in like a flood and overtake my thinking. Then it spills into my emotions and leaks out in my conversations before it shows up in my actions. Before long I am a victim again. But when I change my thinking to focus on the solution, my perspective changes and that is when I start to see progress. That’s what I love about recovery. It doesn’t leave me stuck in the problem. There is a solution. But it is up to me to do something to get it.

Before recovery, I was in bondage. I was struggling. When I focused on my problems, they only intensified. I begged and pleaded with God to take away my addiction. I spent hours in heartfelt prayer, with real tears and real remorse, only to repeat the same behavior again and again. When I came back into my right mind, regret would flood in and overwhelm me. I would promise God I would do better next time. I asked Him to stop me, to remind me, to intervene before I fell. But it never happened. Because I never made a decision to actually change. I never followed it with action or put anything in place to keep me from falling. I was blaming God for not stopping me.

The turning point came when I hit my bottom. It was a dark day, but it was also a good day because it was the day I finally stopped and made a decision. I changed my thinking, and I followed it with action. When I did, I realized all those prayers I prayed were not wasted. They were seeds. God did help me. He did prompt me when I was tempted, but this time I responded differently. I stayed. I chose differently. I did something with what He was showing me. That is the difference for me today. I stopped waiting for God to do for me what He was showing me to do. I am not focusing on the problem anymore. I am taking responsibility and moving toward the solution, one decision at a time. And this is the gift of recovery for me.

Prayer
Father, help me stop focusing on the problem. Show me how to focus on the solution. Give me the courage to take the next right step. Thank You. Amen.

Recognizing God’s Guidance

Sometimes God’s guidance does not come the way I expect. He often speaks to me through step work, and other people.

The Lord says, “I will make you wise and show you where to go. I will guide you and watch over you.” Psalm 32:8

I was recently doing step work and answering the question, “Do I sense spiritual guidance in my life?” My immediate answer was yes. But when I slowed down and thought about it more, I realized something deeper. For me, I saw a hidden question. It was not whether I believed in spiritual guidance. It was: How do I actually recognize and know when it happens? The interesting thing is that believing in God was never the issue for me. I already believed in God before coming to recovery. I had believed in Him for most of my life. In fact, before coming to recovery I had spent many years serving in churches and even became an ordained minister. I would have said that I had a real relationship with God.

Before recovery, I mostly expected God’s guidance to show up in religious spiritual ways. I thought that through prayer and reading my Bible I would have some deep spiritual experience. What I did not recognize was that He was already trying to guide me in other ways. He was guiding me through other people, through circumstances, and even through uncomfortable truths about myself. I just was not listening. My pride and my own understanding often got in the way. It was not until I became humble and willing to walk into a recovery room that things began to shift. I had to honestly admit that I did not have all the answers. That willingness to listen was the first place I began to recognize God’s guidance in my life.

Recovery gave me practical tools that helped me hear His guidance more clearly. Today I see God working through things like meetings, literature, step work, and conversations with other people in the program. When I attend a meeting and hear someone share something that speaks to me, I recognize that as guidance. When I read recovery literature and I think, “That’s me, I do that.” I know God is teaching me something. When I sit down and do honest step work and ask myself what my part is and what I need to change, the things I write down bring clarity. That is another way I experience spiritual guidance.

One of the biggest surprises to me in recovery is how often God speaks through other people. Sometimes it is my sponsor offering a suggestion I did not want to hear. Sometimes it is something simple that someone shares in a meeting. Sometimes it is a quiet moment during prayer when a new thought comes to mind about how I could do things differently. I have learned that if I stay humble and willing, God can speak to me through anyone. Recovery did not replace my faith. It helped me experience God in a much more practical way. The Steps and principles of recovery became a “here’s how you do it manual” for living happy, joyous, and free. They help me apply the spiritual principles I had believed in for years to my real situations. That is the gift of recovery for me.

Prayer
Father, thank You for guiding me even when I wasn’t aware of it. Help me stay humble and willing to listen. Teach me to hear Your voice and recognize when You are guiding me. Thank You for leading me one step at a time. Amen.

Fixing Me, Not Him

Seeing My Part

Peace came when I stopped trying to fix him and started letting God work on me.

O God, let the secrets of my heart be uncovered, and let my wandering thoughts be tested:
See if there is any way of sorrow in me, and be my guide in the eternal way. Psalm 139:23–24

My youngest daughter plays softball and she really enjoys it. Last year I volunteered to help coach her team. It was a great season. This year I signed her up and volunteered to help coach again. When I showed up for the assessments, I was informed that I was the manager. I told them I could not make that commitment due to my work schedule. So another volunteer and I agreed to co-manage and co-coach the team. Except his name was listed as the manager. It didn’t bother me at the time. We had worked together before.

Over the weekend there was a coach’s meeting which he attended. He didn’t inform me about it either. There have been other communications that he has received about the team that he has not shared with me. At our last practice, I suggested to him that we get together over coffee and discuss our game plan etc. He seemed uninterested and I felt dismissed. I was hurt that he didn’t accept my invitation, and there has been no direct communication from him. I was not only hurt but I started to get angry. I started questioning why I didn’t accept the manager’s position in the first place. Why did I defer?

This was still bothering the next morning. When things bother me or upset me now, I have tools to use to get me through it. So, I decided to apply my recovery principles and write about it. I asked myself, Why was I hurt? Why was I upset? As I sat with it for a bit, I realized I felt out of control. I felt powerless. I felt unwanted and not important. There it is. My character defect of feeling not good enough was staring at me and mocking me. When I saw it was my issue being triggered, I knew I had to surrender this to God and let it go. My character defects do not just go away. They are still present with me today. The difference is that I am not as bothered by them as I used to be. They don’t take up camp and stay with me as long anymore. I am able to spot them much sooner than I used to. I am no longer in denial about my defects or that I have a part to play. Things were not done to me, they were just done. I am the one who was hurt.

After I wrote about it and saw my part, I knew I had something to do. I told God about my hurts and how I felt. I asked for His guidance and wisdom in dealing with the situation. I felt the hurt leave and peace fill my mind. At the same time, my anger began to fade. I had a couple of new thoughts come into my mind and I followed them. I chose to focus on fixing me and not him. When I focus on changing me, it keeps resentment from developing later. I contacted this person, met with him, and asked him to share the information with me. I asked what he needed from me, and I shared what I needed from him as well. I resisted the urge to tell him how wrong I thought he was. I did not challenge his leadership. We shared as friends, and it was a very good meeting. I think we grew closer. I am glad that I followed the ideas that came to me in prayer. It was God leading me and guiding me. That is the gift of recovery for me today.

Prayer

Father, thank You for helping me notice when old hurts rise up. Remind me to slow down and bring them to You. Help me always see my part and surrender it to You. Thank You for the peace You give me when I follow You. Amen.

THE ROLE OF OUR CONSCIENCE

(An excerpt from my book Hearing God’s Voice Every Day!)

OUR BORN-AGAIN CONSCIENCE

the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you. John 14:17

The world CANNOT receive the Holy Spirit! We the believers CAN and DO. This is an extremely important key. Holy Spirit is for believers, NOT THE WORLD. The world CANNOT receive Holy Spirit.

⁷ Nevertheless I tell you the truth. It is to your advantage that I go away; for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you; but if I depart, I will send Him to you. ⁸ And when He has come, He will convict the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment: ⁹ of sin, because they do not believe in Me; ¹⁰ of righteousness, because I go to My Father and you see Me no more; ¹¹ of judgment, because the ruler of this world is judged. ¹² I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now. ¹³ However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come. John 16:7-13

Holy Spirit does not convict believers of sin. He convicts the world of sin. This may be news to you. The world cannot receive Holy Spirit, only believers can, that is why He convicts them (the world) of sin, because they do not believe in Jesus. We do believe in Jesus, so we have Holy Spirit inside of us. I am aware that there are many in the church today who believe that Holy Spirit does convict believers of sin. But you will not find support for this thought and belief in the Bible. It is a religious tradition and man-made theology. I am not saying this in a judgmental way, but to remove guilt from your thinking. This teaching will hinder you in hearing from God because you will view the Holy Spirit differently and some even become afraid. The believer need not be afraid of Holy Spirit. Holy Spirit is our Guide. He guides us. There is a difference.

I am not saying that believers are not convicted of wrongdoing. Believers are. It is just, that it is not Holy Spirit who is convicting believers. It’s our born-again conscience that convicts us. The Bible says that our own conscience convicts us of sin. If our conscience is soft and tender toward God and we are willing to listen and obey. Obey means to do what He asks. Once we accept this concept, it opens the door for us to trust and have confidence in our own born-again conscience. Remember the Bible tells us that He gives us a new heart and a new spirit. The old heart is taken away. The old man died with Christ. Once we are in Christ, we are one with Him. He has filled us with the fullness of His Spirit. He leads us by His Spirit that resides inside our spirit. Our spirit and His Spirit are one. (1 Corinthians 6:17). Because our spirit is one with His spirit, we can now trust that our spirit is safe to listen to and follow. Christ takes up residency inside of the believer by His Spirit, or Holy Spirit. We know that God does not dwell in sin, this is why the person must be born again. If Holy Spirit entered a non-born-again spirit, they would be destroyed. Jesus explains this principle to us in the analogy of the wineskins. He said you cannot put new wine in old wineskins, or both will be destroyed, but new wine must be put in new wineskins and then both will be preserved. (Luke 5:37-38). This analogy is referring to us needing to have a new spirit, being born again, born of the spirit (John 3:6) so that we can receive God’s spirit (New Wine) into our spirit (Wineskin). Since we have a brand new born-again spirit that comes from God and He has filled it with His Spirit, then suffice it to say, we can trust what our spirit is telling us. The spirit of man is the candle of the Lord.

Proverbs 20:27
The spirit of a man is the lamp of the Lord, Searching all the inner depths of his heart.

This verse explains to us that God speaks to us, leads us, and guides us by illuminating our spirit.

Let’s look at some examples of the conscience convicting people from the scriptures.

Then those who heard it, being convicted by their conscience, went out one by one, beginning with the oldest even to the last. And Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst. John 8:9

Notice how these individuals were convicted. They were convicted by their own conscience. And they left one by one. They were not convicted by Holy Spirit.

Then Paul, looking earnestly at the council, said, “Men and brethren, I have lived in all good conscience before God until this day.” Acts 23:1

Paul’s defense was that he lived in all good conscience. Why was this his defense? Paul was very well educated in the Scriptures and the Law. And there was no rebuttal to his defense. None! I can’t help but ask “Why?”. I think it is because they all knew that it was their own conscience that convicted them.

This being so, I myself always strive to have a conscience without offense toward God and men. Acts 24:16

Here again, Paul is describing how his conscience was pure before God. We know that Paul had killed Christians before his conversion. And he also admitted that he was chief of sinners (1 Timothy 1:15). Even though Paul was a chief sinner in the Law before coming to Christ, his born-again conscience, in Christ could now be trusted. He was now innocent and righteous through Christ.

who show the work of the law written in their hearts, their conscience also bearing witness, and between themselves their thoughts accusing or else excusing them) Romans 2:15

Our own conscience will bear witness with us. This is another way of saying confirmation. Our own conscience inside of us, will either accuse or convict us or it will exonerate and excuse us.

I tell the truth in Christ, I am not lying, my conscience also bearing me witness in the Holy Spirit, Romans 9:1

Part of Paul’s defense was that his own conscience bore witness within him. Paul also says this was in the Holy Spirit. This tells us that Holy Spirit bears witness with our conscience.

However, there is not in everyone that knowledge; for some, with consciousness of the idol, until now eat it as a thing offered to an idol; and their conscience, being weak, is defiled. 1 Corinthians 8:7

Here Paul tells us that if our own conscience is weak, it won’t convict us when it should. Our conscience can even be so seared that it is scarred and not sensitive and then cannot be trusted. (1 Timothy 4:2)

²⁵ Eat whatever is sold in the meat market, asking no questions for conscience’ sake; ²⁶ for “the earth is the LORD’S, and all its fullness.” ²⁷ If any of those who do not believe invites you to dinner, and you desire to go, eat whatever is set before you, asking no question for conscience’ sake. ²⁸ But if anyone says to you, “This was offered to idols,” do not eat it for the sake of the one who told you, and for conscience’ sake; for “the earth is the LORD’S, and all its fullness.” ²⁹ “Conscience,” I say, not your own, but that of the other. For why is my liberty judged by another man’s conscience? 1 Corinthians 10:25-29

Although Paul is specifically addressing being able to eat unclean foods, which was against the Jewish Law, he explains that our conscience can make us feel guilty even when we are innocent. He also gives insight that our conscience judges us and us alone. Our conscience doesn’t judge others. Paul said in another place “If we would judge ourselves, we should not be judged” 1 Corinthians 11:31.

Now when they heard this, they were pricked in their heart, and said to Peter and the rest of the apostles, “Men and brethren, what shall we do?” Acts 2:37

Here we see that the people were pricked in their heart after hearing the preaching of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Their own consciences made them feel remorse and convicted them, and they asked what they should do. They repented and were born again.

There’s another phrase used that is a little different but similar. It is “cut to the heart”. The Greek word used here means to cut asunder. It is defined as; to get to the core issue. In the following verses we see that the people addressed heard a message that cut right down to the core. They were convicted by their own conscience through the message they heard. These though chose a different path than those above. These did not repent and change. They got angry. Their consciences were seared, and they had a predetermined mind to not listen to their consciences.

But when these words came to their ears, they were cut to the heart, and had a mind to put them to death. Acts 5:33

“You stiff-necked and uncircumcised in heart and ears! You always resist the Holy Spirit; as your fathers did, so do you. Acts 7:51

When they heard these things, they were cut to the heart, and they gnashed at him with their teeth. Acts 7:54

A NEW WAY

but he is a Jew who is one inwardly; and circumcision is that of the heart, in the Spirit, not in the letter; whose praise is not from men but from God. Romans 2:29

This verse may seem like it doesn’t belong here, but oh how it does. Paul is saying that circumcision now is no longer in the flesh but in the heart. This is our conscience. The word circumcision means to cut. And to enter into the Abrahamic covenant as a Jew, one needed to become circumcised in the foreskin of the flesh. This was the entrance, by blood, into the Abrahamic covenant. Now through Jesus Christ, we enter into a covenant with God by circumcising our hearts, not our flesh. The entrance into this covenant is still by blood and the cutting of human flesh. It is not by cutting our flesh and having our blood flow, it is by the offering made by Jesus Christ on the cross. His flesh was cut, and His blood flowed. So, we now enter in vicariously through faith. It is our heart that is cut or circumcised. This happens when our conscience feels the tug of conviction through the words being preached.(See Romans 4:9-12, 1 Timothy 1:5, Hebrews 10:22)

²⁰ For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things. ²¹ Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence toward God. 1 John 3:20-21

Once we are born again and have a new heart, a pure heart. A heart created in the image and likeness of God. A new spirit – His spirit is dwelling inside us. We then can trust and have confidence in the leading and guiding of our conscience. Our spirit man.

We must stay tender to God and listen and obey the leading of our conscience or recreated newly born-again spirit. If we do not do so, our conscience can become seared and then can no longer be trusted as a guide.

(An excerpt from my book Hearing God’s Voice Every Day!)

Fear Disguised as Discernment

Faith Over Fear

I recently had to ask myself an uncomfortable question: Am I truly waiting on God, or am I stalling because of fear?

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. James 1:5

Lately I have been asking myself an uncomfortable question. When I say I am waiting on God, am I really just afraid of change and settling for what feels familiar? My wife and I have been talking about a major life decision. I found myself quickly dismissing it without even thinking or praying about it. I convinced myself I was waiting on God. Counting the cost. Being wise. That language sounds scriptural and spiritual, and some of it may even be. Who was I fooling? Not my wife! She is so awesome and patient with me. Once I finally started to think and pray about it seriously, a harder question rose up. Am I truly seeking God’s direction in this area, or am I being intimidated by fear and calling it discernment? I am content with where I am. Or maybe I am just comfortable. Recovery has taught me that fear seldom announces itself and says, “Hey, look at me.” Many times it speaks in very calm, reasonable tones. Sometimes it sounds like wisdom.

Waiting on God and hiding from change can look very similar from the outside. Both involve pausing. Both involve prayer. Both involve caution. The difference is in the motive. Wisdom pauses to listen. Fear pauses to avoid discomfort. Wisdom seeks clarity. Fear seeks certainty. I realized that part of me wanted guarantees. I wanted to know how it would work out. I wanted assurances before taking any step at all. But that is not how faith works. That is not how God leads me. He asks me to take a step of faith, like Peter, stepping out on the water in the middle of the storm. There is a reason He gave me the Holy Spirit. There is a reason He is called the Comforter. Why would I need comfort or a Comforter if I were never to face an uncomfortable situation? And if I were never in an uncomfortable situation, am I really walking in faith? Scripture tells me to seek God and ask Him for wisdom. God provides the outcomes. He does give assurance according to His promises. And His promises come after I step out in faith and obedience. It is up to me to seek God’s will, and ask for direction then act in obedience.

Recovery has given me the ability to examine my motives honestly. Once I see them, I don’t beat myself up for them. I acknowledge them and admit the truth of what I see. The truth is, I am afraid. I feel uncertain about the decision. At the same time, comfort is available. I also have the desire and willingness to seek God’s will. I don’t want fear making decisions for me, and I don’t want impatience making them either. I want clarity. If God says stay, I will stay. If He says move, I will move. My responsibility isn’t to avoid the question or force an answer. My responsibility is to seek Him sincerely and be willing to act when He makes the direction clear. That cannot happen if I never even ask or seek Him. When I do that, I am practicing honesty and humility instead of control. It is liberating. Being able to recognize and see my true self – that is the gift of recovery for me.

Prayer

Father, help me recognize when I am being intimidated by fear. Teach me how to seek Your will and trust Your promises even when the path ahead is uncertain. Give me the courage to act when You make the way clear. Help me walk by faith and not by fear. Amen.

GOD’S HEARING AIDES

(An excerpt from my book Hearing God’s Voice Every Day!)

God has placed safeguards for us. These safeguards serve more than one purpose. They help us stay safe “so we are not lead astray by every wind of doctrine” (Ephesians 4:14), they help us stay strong against the enemy, they help us “rightly dividing His Word” (2 Timothy 2:15), they help us hear Him better (Hebrews 5:14), they help us develop our own fruit (John 15:5) (fruit of the spirit and spiritual fruit – two different things – but that’s another lesson), they help us to “tune in” to His frequency.

HIS FREQUENCY

The description of a radio is a great example of how this works. Think of a radio station. It is always broadcasting. If I am unable to hear station 99.1 on my radio, I have to do some troubleshooting to figure out why. Do I have a proper radio that will pick up the frequency? Do I have an antenna? And is the antenna the right kind? Am I connected to a power source either electric current or battery-operated? Do I have the radio turned on? Is the radio tuned to the correct channel and band (AM or FM)? Once I have the signal, is it fine-tuned to pick it up clearly? Do I have the volume set to the right level? Each one of these things can cause me to not be able to hear the broadcast coming from the station. Or to not hear it clearly. I do not think anyone would automatically assume the station was not broadcasting if they couldn’t hear the station. It is the same way with God. He is always broadcasting – He is always speaking to us. If we are not able to hear Him, then we need to first check our “equipment” to make sure it’s not broken and it’s working properly and make sure that it is plugged into the power source and tuned to the correct channel.

In this analogy, our equipment or radio is our born-again conscience, the Word of God, and praying in the spirit. Our equipment is also a safeguard for us to keep us on the correct path and make sure we do not tune into a different channel or be misled or deceived in any way.

SAFEGUARDS

Let us talk about some of these safeguards. There are many safeguards God has set in order, to help and guide us. The list below is by no means exhaustive, but merely a few examples to help us think about things differently. When we begin to think from a kingdom mindset then we demonstrate the true repentance that both John the Baptist and Jesus preached. For the Kingdom of Heaven is surely “at hand”.

His Word
Our Born-Again Conscience
Praying in the Spirit
Holy Spirit
Meditating
Worship
Peace
Spiritual Mentors (Discipleship – not TV/ Radio ministers) – Relationship is involved.

For this lesson, we will address His Word and our born-again conscience. In the next chapter, we will cover praying in the spirit.

HIS WORD

Although to some it may seem self-evident that God’s word would be a basic safety net when wanting to hear from God, even though it may seem this way, many people do not connect the dots and do not understand this concept.

Having a basic understanding of God’s word helps us to know when God is speaking to us. We have a measurement tool to use and verify if the content is from the same source. We take what we hear or perceive and hold it up next to God’s word and see if they say the same or similar thing.

My son, give attention to my words; Incline your ear to my sayings. Do not let them depart from your eyes; Keep them in the midst of your heart; For they are life to those who find them, And health to all their flesh. Proverbs 4:20-22 Amplified

As we incline our ears to His Word and give priority to His word, His word will be life and health to our flesh.

I have restrained my feet from every evil way, That I may keep Your word. Psalm 119:101

This says that we must restrain ourselves from evil so that we can keep His word.

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. Psalm 119:105

His word sheds light on our path which means He leads us and directs and guides us. A lamp to our feet means we will not stub our toe or stumble because the light is on our feet where we walk. This shows us that not only does God give us broad big picture direction, but He will also give us the small details and make sure that where we go is lit up. Of course, we have to listen to and obey His word to see this result.

You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you.John 15:3

His word makes us clean and pure. One of my favorite verses in the Bible is Matthew 5:8 “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” We are clean and pure before God when we hear His word. This gives us confidence that we can come before Him with boldness.

Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words will by no means pass away. Matthew 24:35

His word will never pass away. It says that Heaven and earth will pass away. We know from Revelation 21:1 that at the end of the age, heaven and earth will pass away and there will be a new heaven and a new earth. But His word will remain. He is the Word.

These verses above outline for us some of the ways that doing this protects us and keeps us safe. God’s words bring us life and health, they keep us from evil, and they shed light on our path so we will know God’s will for our lives. They keep us clean, and pure in our minds and souls. And they can be counted on and relied upon until the end of time – forever.

God and His word are One. Jesus is the Word of God. (John 1:1) The Word of God is God. I am not referring to the ink, paper, and binding of a book, but the words contained on the pages. The Spirit of those words. Imagine the more you know God’s word, the more you know God. I would like to add a caveat to that statement. What does it mean to know God’s word? I do not mean just being able to read, memorize and recite words. The word must get inside of you, it must be real and come alive. The word is a light that “shines in the darkness” of your heart and mind (John 1:5) “until the day dawns, and the morning star rises in your heart” (2 Peter 1:19). When this happens, it brings a spiritual understanding and establishes what you have heard. This is also called a revelation. Paul refers to this as having the eyes of your understanding enlightened so that you may know His will. (Ephesians 1:18)

Have you ever heard the phrase “it just dawned on me”? This verse in 2 Peter is where that phrase comes from. And when someone uses that phrase, they are referring to something that just became aware to them in their mind. Something they were not previously thinking about or may not have understood. Then suddenly a light bulb goes off on the inside and a fresh new perspective arises inside. That is the day dawning in your heart. That is revelation straight from God.

(An excerpt from my book Hearing God’s Voice Every Day!)

The Highest Power

Admitting I am powerless doesn’t make me weak. It connects me to the Highest Power.
When I draw near to Him, He draws near to me.

Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. James 4:8

As far back as I can remember I have always believed in God. By that I mean I believed that God existed, He created everything, He was all-powerful, Jesus was His Son and He died on the cross and rose again and was the way to eternal life in heaven. But beyond that I didn’t have a relationship with God. In my thinking God was distant and removed, He didn’t interact in my life on a regular basis, let alone daily. I remember the day that I finally saw more and surrendered my life to God and accepted Jesus as my Savior. It was amazing. But if I am honest, I didn’t change the way I viewed God. He was still distant and off in the future, He wasn’t here and now. The principles of recovery walked me through a process where I began to see God more intimately involved in my daily life. Developing a personal relationship with Him is what working a recovery program is all about. I saw Him as the One True Higher Power.

It was the admission that I am powerless over my addictions or compulsive behaviors that opened me up to reach out to the fullness of God. When I asked for His power to help and heal me, I began to understand that He wants to transform me. He does so by filling my life with His love, His joy, His hope, and His presence. I learned in Steps 1 and 2 that I needed to turn my attention away from myself and instead turn it toward God. This would be my turning point. This is where healing and freedom began for me. I felt overwhelmed and stranded when I realized that I can’t heal myself. Considering I needed divine help was scary. God is the only one who has the power to replace my chaos with freedom, and I had no idea how He would close that distance.

Of course, He knew long before I did what was needed. That is why He sent Jesus to demonstrate God’s love and power here on earth. He saved me from the grip of sin and the destruction it was bringing into my life. He gave an example of how to live out that relationship with God on a daily basis. He was tempted in every area and in every way that I am, but without failure and without sin. He is not just my higher power. He is the Highest Power, because He has conquered all life can dish out. He did that for me so I could experience freedom and intimacy with Him in my own life. When I acknowledge my own powerlessness, I see His power sustaining me daily no matter what I face.

Today, admitting my powerlessness does not make me feel weak. Instead, it is exactly how I draw strength. When I surrender to God, He does not leave me stranded to face my challenges alone. I am not abandoned. He is present and active in my life. He no longer feels distant. I know He is with me. This happens when I stop resisting Him. It may seem like the opposite of what I should do, but it is simply an act of faith. I am learning that this is what trusting Him looks like. When I give up control and surrender to Him, I receive Him. He is the Highest Power.

Prayer

Lord, I give up control again today. I confess that I cannot heal myself or carry this life alone. Draw me close to You and help me stay close. When I feel weak, remind me that Your strength is enough. Thank You for being the Highest Power in my life. Amen.

Serenity Prayer

A Guided Prayer Meditation

Serenity Prayer is not just words I repeat in meetings. It is more than that. It has become a new way of thinking, practicing surrender, and living my life each day. This is how I practice it in real life. I use the full prayer.

God,

God is the source of my help, not me. I need help from a power greater than me. (Step 1) He is God and I am not.

Grant me the Serenity

I need peace and sanity in my life and I cannot get it by myself or I would already possess it. I am insane. I have crazy thinking. Things either now are or will get chaotic beyond my control.

To accept the things I cannot change.

My challenge is acceptance. Acceptance is the answer to all of my problems today. I cannot change things no matter how much I think I might be able to.

The courage to change the things I can,

Change is not easy. It is actually very hard. That is why it takes courage, courage which I do not possess on my own. I need God to give me courage. After I accept whatever it is that I can change, then I need to confront it with God’s help.

And the wisdom to know the difference.

I need God’s wisdom to help me know what I have control over and what I do not. The wisdom to know what I need to change and what I cannot change.

Living one day at a time,

It helps me to take things in small chunks. “The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” Confucius. I can do something for a few hours that I would not be able to do if I thought I had to do it for the rest of my life.

Enjoying one moment at a time;

I need God’s help to enjoy life, to stop and smell the roses. I mean literally stop while I am walking and bend over and smell the flowers. Not just figurative talk. I need to enjoy life and not be so negative.

Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace;

I do not like this part of the prayer. I do not want any hardship at all. Ever. But that is unrealistic thinking and it sets me up for future resentments. So I ask God to help me accept hardship and then ask Him to show me a pathway toward peace in the midst of it.

Taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is;

This tells me that Jesus practiced acceptance too. He lived and operated in this sinful world and as it was. He did God’s will in the midst of chaos and evil.

Not as I would have it;

He did not insist that everyone do it His way, even though His way was God’s way. He allowed people to make their own choices. He accepted and loved them anyway, even though they did things against God’s will and His plan. I need to release my demand that others live according to my expectations.

Trusting

I ask God to help me trust. Sometimes trusting Him is easy and sometimes trusting Him is very hard. The man in the Bible said, “Lord I believe; help my unbelief.” (Mark 9:24). After I learn to trust God, it becomes easier to start trusting others. Something I never did before recovery.

That You will make all things right

I can trust that He cares about me and for me. He is a loving, caring God who will bring good and make wrong things right if I surrender to Him and His will.

If I surrender to Your will;

Surrender is the key. I need to raise the white flag and surrender to God and to His will, holding up both hands in a humble posture.

So that I may be reasonably happy in this life

Happiness is a choice. Some say happiness is temporary but joy is eternal. I believe I can be reasonably happy, and many times very happy, in this life while still living in lasting joy.

And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Nothing gives more peace than knowing my eternal destiny is secure. That at the end of my life here on earth, I will go to heaven and be with Him forever.

AMEN

Amen means so be it. Let it happen. Or as I have heard in meetings, Let it begin with me.

Slowing Down for Today

Surrender is not just about giving God my future. It is also about giving God my today.

Do not be shaped by this world. Instead, be changed within by a new way of thinking. Then you will be able to decide what God wants for you; you will know what is good and pleasing to him and what is perfect. Romans 12:2

I remember the first time I worked the Steps with my sponsor. Yes, I did say first time. I moved through Steps One and Two quickly. Everything was going smoothly. In my mind, Step Three was already done. I had given my life to Christ as a teenager. I attended church regularly. I studied the Bible. I went to Bible college. I was licensed and ordained. I served in churches in many different ministry roles. I wasn’t new to the concept. So, I figured I could check off Step Three and move right on to Step Four. I told my sponsor, “I got this.”

My sponsor did not argue with me. He didn’t challenge my faith or question my sincerity. He simply suggested we slow down and do the work anyway. He said that if I was truly ready, the work would be easy. That surprised me. What I found was that while I had surrendered my life to Christ long ago, I still struggled with surrendering my will in the ways I thought I had. That started to become clear pretty quickly. Step Three took me weeks, while the first two steps had taken only days. I needed that slowdown, even though I did not realize it at the time. I am thankful God gave my sponsor the wisdom to slow me down and humble me.

What I began to see was how much my biblical knowledge had quietly replaced daily surrender. I had grown complacent. I had become confident in what I knew rather than attentive to how I lived. Pride and control showed up subtly. I assumed I had already completed Step Three because of my education and experience. My sponsor saw something I could not see yet, and God used him to interrupt my momentum. That interruption changed everything.

By slowing down and working the Steps in order, without skipping ahead, I learned something that reshaped my relationship with God. Step Three was not just about giving God my future. It was about giving Him my today too. When that shifted, everything else followed. My relationship with God transitioned from performance to grace and complete honesty. That made me ready to begin Step Four, an honest moral inventory.

Prayer
Lord help me to slow down and not rush ahead. I want to do things Your way and in order. Show me Your will for me and help me to carry it out. Amen.

Paul’s Thorn In The Flesh

Paul’s Thorn In The Flesh
In 2 Corinthians 12:7 Paul says that he had a “thorn in the flesh”. A misunderstanding of this phrase and the misinterpretation of this passage has caused much confusion and damage among many sincere believers. Let’s unpack this passage.

What Is A “Thorn In The Flesh”?
The first thing I want to point out is that the term “thorn in the flesh” is a figure of speech. Paul really didn’t have a thorn sticking into his skin. This term was a common expression in the Jewish mind and culture. The people of the time understood what this phrase meant. Today’s equivalent would be the phrase “Pain in the neck”. When a person says, “So and so is a pain in the neck.” They aren’t really saying that person is sticking out of their neck and causing them a physical pain in their neck area. What they are saying, and meaning is that person they are referring to is annoying them or causing them trouble of some kind. Here is the definition of the word “thorn” from the English Dictionary.
Noun
1. thorn – something that causes irritation and annoyance; “he’s a thorn in my flesh”
Irritant – pain in the ass, pain in the neck, bother, botheration, infliction, annoyance, pain – something or someone that causes trouble; a source of unhappiness; “washing dishes was a nuisance before we got a dish washer”; “a bit of a bother”; “he’s not a friend, he’s an infliction”
https://www.thefreedictionary.com/a+thorn+in+side
This is the thought that Paul was trying to convey. Something was annoying him and causing him continual trouble. He was not referring to an actual physical pain in his skin or his body.
Here are some other references of this same idiom or figure of speech in the scriptures.

Numbers 33:55
But if you do not drive out the inhabitants of the land from before you, then it shall be that those whom you let remain shall beirritants in your eyes and thorns in your sides, and they shall harass you in the land where you dwell.

Joshua 23:13
know for certain that the LORD your God will no longer drive out these nations from before you. But they shall be snares and traps to you, and scourges on your sides and thorns in your eyes, until you perish from this good land which the LORD your God has given you.

Judges 2:3
Therefore I also said, ‘I will not drive them out before you; but they shall be thorns in your side, and their gods shall be a snare to you.’ “

Psalm 38:12
Those also who seek my life lay snares for me; Those who seek my hurt speak of destruction, And plan deception all the day long.

Ezekiel 28:24
“And there shall no longer be a pricking brier or a painful thorn for the house of Israel from among all who are around them, who despise them. Then they shall know that I am the Lord GOD.”

This was a common metaphor used in Jewish culture to indicate troubles or troublesome behavior from your enemy. Every single time it always referenced a person or group of people. And always an enemy. And always an enemy that the people needed to remove, and if the people refused to remove their enemies, then the enemies would be an ongoing problem for them. It never once referred to sickness or disease.

PAUL’S BACKGROUND
Another thing to note on this topic. Paul was a very educated man (Phil 3:5). In addition to him being a Pharisee, the son of a Pharisee (Acts 23:6) He sat at the feet of Gamliel and was trained by him (Acts 22:3). Gamaliel was the president of the Great Sanhedrin in Jerusalem. Gamaliel holds a reputation in the Mishnah for being one of the greatest teachers in all the annals of Judaism.A pharisee was a person that was separated and devout to God. He studied the scriptures and committed them to memory. He followed all the laws and traditions faithfully.

QUALIFICATIONS TO BE A PHARISEE
The Jews in Jesus’ day had three levels of education, which was most likely instituted by Ezra after the exile in order to teach the people the Scriptures again. The first level was called ‘Bet Sefer’. At the ages of six through twelve, the Jewish boys and girls would begin their education in the synagogue school, learning how to read and write. The textbook was the Torah (the first five books of the Bible) and the goal was to memorize the sacred text.For a Rabbinic Jew (those that would be asked to be Pharisees), they would also have Oral Torah this is passed from teacher to student, face-to-face, it provides knowledge and methods of interpreting the written text to preserve the semiotics and hermeneutics of the original Torah so that it can be transferred to the next generation without error.The next level was the ‘Bet Midrash’. This was only for the best of the best. I would assume for those who indeed memorized the Torah. This level was from age thirteen to fifteen, where they continued studying and memorizing the entire Tanakh (in other words, the complete Old Testament). Very few were selected for this pursuit.The final level was the ‘Bet Talmud’, which was the longest in duration as it went from the age of 15 to 30. To participate, he must be invited by a Rabbi and, if selected, he would begin a process of grooming that would lead to the potential of becoming a Rabbi at age 30. Those who were chosen were referred to as Talmudic. They would literally follow in the dust of their rabbi – desiring to emulate him in all of his mannerisms. They would eat the same food in exactly the same way as their rabbi. They would go to sleep and awake the same way as their rabbi and, more importantly, they would learn to study Torah and understand God the exact same way as their rabbi.https://deurpost.wordpress.com/2010/02/11/consider-this/https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pharisees#The_Oral_Torah

Paul knew the scriptures, the Law and the Prophets. He knew the customs, traditions and how to interpret them too. It was Paul’s style in his writing (Paul wrote 2/3 of the New Testament.) to allude to and reference Old Testament passages and customs without necessarily saying “it is written” or quoting the reference. He did it often. Because of this, he was most likely referencing this idiom and these verses in his illustration.

Drive Out The Enemy
The idea and concept that these scriptures repeatedly convey is that if the children of Israel didn’t drive out their enemies completely then they enemies would hang around and be an ongoing torment to the children of Israel. It was not God’s will or plan. God told the children of Israel to drive out their enemies…. but they had to do it. They had to resist. They had to fight.
This is more aligned with the rest of Paul’s teaching and “because of the abundance of revelation” he received. What was the revelation that Paul did receive? It was the revelation of the authority of the believer over the devil. Paul knew that he needed to drive out the enemy. And most likely given this reference- it was something that he had previously failed to do. And this makes even more sense when you look at his comment that he “asked the Lord to remove” the enemy. That is exactly what the children of Israel said. And God told them the same thing. YOU need to drive out the enemy. I will not do it for you. Stop! Pause right now! Go back and read again the verses above one more time and look for these references.
When we read the Bible as a collective whole and not as segments we get the whole picture. Paul was saying I should have dealt the devil, but I didn’t, and I asked God to do it for me. God responded to him, “Hey I gave you the revelation now use it. You resist the devil you take authority over him.”

A Messenger
Paul then continues and says this “thorn in the flesh” was a messenger from satan sent to buffet him. The word messenger is the same Greek word for angel (demons are fallen angels). And this demon was sent from satan, not from God. Remember this phrase always refers to people, specific people too… Always refers to your enemy. ALWAYS!! No Exceptions. So, let’s get that straight.
Paul knowing this was an attack of the enemy- even in his metaphor “thorn in the flesh” carries that meaning. And Paul is the one person who had the revelation of the authority of the believer over all the works of the enemy (satan). He knew that we need to stand firm against the enemy, resist him, take our thoughts captive and be willing to punish all disobedience. (see Eph 6:11-12, 2 Cor 10:3-5, 2 Cor 2:11, Eph 1:19-21, Eph 3:20, Col 1:13, Gal 1:4)

What is Buffeting?
The word buffet means to be beaten, to deal repeated blows with a clenched fist. This word is used 5 times in the New Testament and every time it refers to physical beatings with a clenched fist. Literally getting punched and beat up. This is exactly what we see happened to Paul in 2 Corinthians 11. Paul describes the many repeated blows he was dealt by this messenger of satan. Please STOP here! Go read 2 Corinthians chapter 11 and then continue to chapter 12.
Now that you have read this story in context you will see that Paul is describing one complete thought and message. Paul did not write in chapter and verse. He just wrote a letter. After having read these two chapters together you can see that Paul describes what this “thorn in the flesh” was and how it “buffeted” or beat him. Starting in Verse 22 of chapter 11, Paul specifically mentions stripes– (stripes is a term referring to being scourged. This was a common form of torture and punishment at the time. They scourged Jesus), prisons- (Paul was imprisoned many times for preaching that Jesus was the Messiah) deaths- (Paul was stoned to death, meaning he died, and was raised from the dead by the disciples around him – not the original 12 either Acts 14:19-20). It has been suggested that is how Paul’s wife died. She was present and stoned to death with him on one of these occasions. Five times Paul was scourged with 39 stripes, only 39 because their law said 40 would kill a person. So, 39 stripes was the most you could get before dying. Some however died before reaching 39. Maybe this was another death Paul experienced. Beaten with rods, shipwrecked, lost at sea, robbed by brothers and enemies. He goes on…. the point is that these things that happened to him were the “buffeting” by the messenger of satan that he refers to a few verses later. None of these things Paul mentions came from God. They came from the enemy. And not once in this list does Paul ever mention sickness or disease.

Flee From You

James 4:6-7 tells us that when we humble ourselves to God He gives us grace and this grace that God gives us makes the devil flee from US.

James 4:6-7
But He gives more grace. Therefore He says: “God resists the proud,But gives grace to the humble.” Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.

As we have seen Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians 11:16-33 exactly how this thorn in the flesh buffeted him. And this was just before (2 Corinthians 12:1-7) where he mentions the thorn in the flesh. Remember it’s all one thought and is congruous.
Paul says he asked God to make the devil leave him alone. Well, we know that’s never going to happen… we are promised persecution in this life if we stand up for Christ and His gospel. And what Paul mentions is most definitely persecution.

Did Paul Have An Eye Disease?
The idea that Paul had some sort of sickness or “eye disease” is not in scripture. It is a common modern theory and teaching that has evolved and grown since its introduction. The teaching is that when Paul was on the road to Damascus he fell to the ground and was blinded by a great light in Acts 9:4-9, that he developed an eye disease that he never was healed of. The problem or error in this teaching is that verse 9 says he was without sight for only 3 days. Also in verse s 12, 17, 18 it says that Ananias laid his hands on Paul and he was healed and received his sight. God does not “partially” heal and nowhere does it say that Paul was partially healed. This is all speculation. A theory devised to justify a teaching for those that do not believe its Gods will to heal.
Paul preached quite the opposite and even said so in his letter with his own hand. Paul said that the Lord had delivered him out of all of his troubles. (2 Timothy 3:11)
Paul had to do what we have to do. That is once we have a revelation or understanding of something- we will be tested to prove it and the testings come- Jesus said in Mark 4:15 that the devil comes immediately to try and steal our revelation from us.
Paul had the revelation that we as believers have authority over the devil and we need to resist him steadfast in our faith, Paul then had to put into practice what the Lord revealed to him. Paul needed to resist the devil.

Sufficient Grace
Paul also had the revelation of grace. That salvation is by grace through faith (Ephesians 2:8). It is Gods grace that provides for every need we have (Philippians 4:19) That grace enables us power over all the works of the enemy (Eph 6:11-12, 2 Cor 10:3-5, 2 Cor 2:11, Eph 1:19-21, Eph 3:20, Col 1:13, Gal 1:4)
Jesus said my grace is more than enough to overcome any attacking the devil throws at you- you know his fiery darts. This is what sufficient means – more than enough. Even now my grammar auto correct wants me to change the word sufficient to enough.
Sufficient does not mean NO. It means enough, able to handle the task at hand.
If anything, sufficient means Yes! Absolutely yes. There is a part that we need to do. Walk in faith and speak the word of God, the promises of God and rebuke the devil, stand against and resist him.

Summary
In summary when we look at this story from 2 Corinthians chapters 11 & 12 in context we see that Paul is describing all the persecutions, sufferings and troubles that Paul endured for preaching Christ. They were the result of a messenger of satan- a demon- sent from the devil to beat Paul up and try to dissuade him from continuing. Paul uses the term thorn in the flesh to draw a parallel to his situations to those of the children of Israel. How they refused to utterly defeat their enemies and as a result their enemies remained as snares to them. Paul said he has revelation and that revelation was what he needed to use to deal with his enemies the same way the children of Israel were supposed to do. The inference by the exempla Paul chooses to draw upon is that he somewhere has refused to deal with the enemy and thus the enemy became a snare for him. A “thorn in the flesh”. This was not a sickness or disease, but Paul clearly states in his own words, a demonic angel troubling him through other people. And when Paul asked the Lord to make the demon leave him alone, the Lord told Paul to use the revelation of grace that God had shown him by his faith to resist the demonic entity. For God’s grace is more than enough to make the enemy depart.