STILL SMALL VOICE

(An excerpt from my book Hearing God’s Voice Every Day!)

Many people talk about the “still small voice”. I know I have heard about God’s still small voice from the very beginning of my Christian walk over 40 years ago. Yes. I have been walking with God for over 40 years. Wow! I have to say that just hit me, on another level. And seeing it written down here on the page myself, it was like a mini revelation hit me in my spirit. That still small voice churning inside me leaving an impression of something I will research, look up and pray on it. I will share this with you, there is something about doing something for 40 days or 40 years in the Bible. Many things happened after 40 years or 40 days. I feel extremely excited and encouraged about this.

THE BACKGROUND

This still small voice that we talk about comes from a reference in the Bible. The event happened with Elijah and is recorded in 1 Kings 19.

Elijah had pronounced a drought on the land (1 Kings 17:1) that lasted three and a half years (James 5:17). He gave this pronouncement to King Ahab. King Ahab was one of the most wicked and evil kings of Israel that ever lived. He was married to Jezebel who was a worshipper and prophetess of Baal. She was evil, a witch, a false prophet, and a devil worshipper. After giving this pronouncement Elijah left for the Brook Cherith (1 Kings 17:3-7) where God miraculously fed him with bread and meat for about a year until the brook dried up. He then went to Zarephath which is in Sidon. Now, this may not seem like a big deal, except that Jezebel was Queen of the Sidonians. She was from Sidon and lived in Sidon. Here again, God miraculously provided for Elijah by means of a widow woman who did not have enough to feed her or her son, so they were about to eat their last meal of a small cake from a handful of flour and a little bit of oil before they died. (1 Kings 17:8-12) But God not only miraculously sustained Elijah, He also miraculously provided for this widow woman and her son for two and a half more years until the drought ended. (1 Kings 17:16-16). During Elijah’s stay with them, this woman’s son dies, and Elijah raises him from the dead. (1 Kings 17:17-24). I hope you are getting the picture here. Elijah was a mighty man of God. He hears from God and does what God says to him. He is experiencing and performing many miracles. These miracles are a confirmation stamp of his hearing from God. I mean he knows how to hear from God. Look, he heard from God and did what he had heard and then miracles happened. And he heard and did these things amid some scary and difficult situations.

He then challenges Ahab, Jezebel, and 450 of her false prophets of Baal as well as 400 false prophets of Asherah to a duel. (1 Kings 18:19). Ahab and Jezebel had sent out decrees everywhere and made it known that they were hunting for and wanting to kill Elijah. And anyone that knew where Elijah was and did not report it would be put to death. Jezebel had been hunting down all of God’s prophets and killing them, not just Elijah. As I read about this I can visualize and think of the movie series Star Wars. Do you remember how the evil emperor Palpatine and Darth Vader hunted down and killed all the Jedi? During this manhunt, Elijah shows himself to Ahab again (1 Kings 18:17). There is a great challenge between Elijah and 850 of Jezebel’s false prophets. In this showdown, the fire of God comes down from heaven and consumed the offering and all the water that Elijah had poured on it. Elijah then proceeds to execute with a sword all 850 of these false prophets (1 Kings 18:20-40). It is events like this that cause me to ask questions. This is no small feat. I mean he had to swing a sword at least 850 times. If he killed them each on the first attempt. And what about the rest? Did they all just stand there in line waiting their turn for Elijah to kill them? Did they resist at all? Something miraculous was happening for Elijah to be able to execute them all. Just imagine lifting your hand 850 times with nothing in it, let alone a heavy sword. After this event, Elijah tells Ahab, now the drought is over, and the heavy rain is coming. Ahab leaves and heads for Jezreel in his chariot – the King’s Chariot – the fastest chariot in the land – to beat the rain. God’s Spirit then comes upon Elijah and Elijah outruns on foot Ahab’s chariot to Jezreel, by the Spirit of the Lord. These events are chalked full of one miracle after another. Another sign attesting to Elijah hearing from God.

Ahab tells Jezebel about what happened, and Jezebel sends a message to Elijah that she will do the same to Elijah, that Elijah had done to her false prophets, by this same time the very next day. When Elijah heard this, he ran for his life. We next find Elijah hiding under a tree. He is feeling sorry for himself and asks God to take his life. Elijah then falls asleep. I have experienced this type of sorrow; I would actually classify it as depression. Where the desire to live, to do anything, is gone and all your mind and body want to do is escape in sleep. There is no energy left in your body. Next, an Angel shows up and wakes Elijah from his sleep and feeds him. Elijah eats what the Angel gives him and then Elijah falls back asleep. The Angel shows up another time and feeds Elijah again. After eating what the Angel fed him, Elijah falls back asleep again. A third time the Angel of the Lord wakes Elijah up and feeds him. This time the Angel tells him that his next journey is too great, and he will need the nourishment of this food being fed to him. He travels for 40 days and 40 nights on the strength of that food and ends up in a cave on Mount Horeb. (1 Kings 19:1-8).

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

In his flight from Jezebel Elijah tells God he is done. He “taps out”, or “throws in the towel” if you understand that analogy. In wrestling if a competitor no longer wants to continue, he taps the mat; in boxing, they can throw a towel in over the ropes; and when the referee sees this he will step in and end the fight. It is a sign of resignation or surrender. Elijah was giving up, he no longer wanted to fight in this battle. He asks God to take his life. Notice Elijah did not die that night, but he was done. I can relate to this thinking and feeling. Sometimes you just get tired of fighting. We are in a battle, a fight against the enemy of our soul. Our enemy is not constrained by the natural limitations of food, water, and sleep that we in our natural bodies are. God has given us a comforter to help us. The Holy Spirit. He helps us and strengthens us when we are weak and tired.

Elijah has just spent the night in this cave on Mount Horeb and the word of the LORD came to him saying “What are you doing here Elijah?”. Elijah starts to complain in modern terms “I love God and have been His faithful servant, but God’s people have forsaken their covenant with Him and burned the churches and now they want to kill me too.” Elijah’s response did not answer the question that God asked him. “What are you doing here?” Elijah was still caught up in feeling sorry for himself. Raise your hand if you have ever been there. I see that hand. If you are being honest with yourself your hand is raised just like mine is.

I find it interesting that during this exchange God is still speaking to Elijah and Elijah is still clearly hearing the Lord speak with him the whole time.

The next thing we see is God passing by the opening of the cave and as He does there are demonstrations or manifestations of God’s presence as the elements of nature respond with a great strong wind, which tore into the mountains (plural) and broke the rocks into pieces, followed by an earthquake and then a fire. (1 Kings 19:11-12) And it says that the Lord was not in the wind, He was not in the earthquake nor was He in the fire. But after all of these great manifestations, there was a still small voice. And when Elijah heard that still small voice, he wrapped his face to go see and hear more. The commentators tell us that this was the same mountain where Moses had covered his face when God’s presence came down on the mountain with wind, earthquake, and fire. (Ex 19:16) Suddenly a voice came to Elijah and said, “What are you doing here Elijah?” Elijah repeats his complaining still feeling sorry for himself as before.

I have come across many people that seem to think that if God spoke dramatically to them or something spectacular happened to get their attention then they would change. But we see just the opposite of that here. Even amid all these events, I mean right smack dab in the middle, Elijah was still stuck on feeling sorry for himself. Stuck on what the natural situation and circumstances were saying to him at the time.

You and I are no different from Elijah. Listen to what James, the brother of our Lord had to say about Elijah.

Elijah was a human being with a nature such as we have [with feelings, affections, and a constitution like ours]; and he prayed earnestly for it not to rain, and no rain fell on the earth for three years and six months. And [then] he prayed again and the heavens supplied rain and the land produced its crops [as usual].
James 5:17-18 AMP

Did you catch that? Elijah was a human being and had a nature like we do. He had emotions, feelings affections and a constitution just like we do. I am not putting Elijah down in any way. I am merely trying to point out that although he did all these awesome things and God used him so mightily, and God spoke so dramatically to him, Elijah was just a human being like me and YOU. And even though we have feelings and emotions that hinder us or sidetrack us, they do not stop God from using us in the same way as he did Elijah.

It seems that Elijah was running from what God told him to do. God’s question to Elijah, “What are you doing here?’ And then God reiterates the question once He gets Elijah’s attention and Elijah begins to listen to that still small voice. This speaks to me. I know there have been times when things are dry, I mean I cannot seem to hear the still small voice at all. And when I reflect and look back those are times when I know I have not done the last thing God told me to do. If you seem stuck, try to think, and remember, what is the last thing you know for sure that God told you to do. The last thing you had a passion or burden for that you have yet to do. Go and do it. After you do, you will see the revelation begin to flow again. “The day will dawn, and the morning star will rise in your heart” as Peter said. (2 Peter 1:19). This is a visual depiction of how God’s Word, His illumination comes to us.

(An excerpt from my book Hearing God’s Voice Every Day!)

Recognizing God’s Guidance

Sometimes God’s guidance does not come the way I expect. He often speaks to me through step work, and other people.

The Lord says, “I will make you wise and show you where to go. I will guide you and watch over you.” Psalm 32:8

I was recently doing step work and answering the question, “Do I sense spiritual guidance in my life?” My immediate answer was yes. But when I slowed down and thought about it more, I realized something deeper. For me, I saw a hidden question. It was not whether I believed in spiritual guidance. It was: How do I actually recognize and know when it happens? The interesting thing is that believing in God was never the issue for me. I already believed in God before coming to recovery. I had believed in Him for most of my life. In fact, before coming to recovery I had spent many years serving in churches and even became an ordained minister. I would have said that I had a real relationship with God.

Before recovery, I mostly expected God’s guidance to show up in religious spiritual ways. I thought that through prayer and reading my Bible I would have some deep spiritual experience. What I did not recognize was that He was already trying to guide me in other ways. He was guiding me through other people, through circumstances, and even through uncomfortable truths about myself. I just was not listening. My pride and my own understanding often got in the way. It was not until I became humble and willing to walk into a recovery room that things began to shift. I had to honestly admit that I did not have all the answers. That willingness to listen was the first place I began to recognize God’s guidance in my life.

Recovery gave me practical tools that helped me hear His guidance more clearly. Today I see God working through things like meetings, literature, step work, and conversations with other people in the program. When I attend a meeting and hear someone share something that speaks to me, I recognize that as guidance. When I read recovery literature and I think, “That’s me, I do that.” I know God is teaching me something. When I sit down and do honest step work and ask myself what my part is and what I need to change, the things I write down bring clarity. That is another way I experience spiritual guidance.

One of the biggest surprises to me in recovery is how often God speaks through other people. Sometimes it is my sponsor offering a suggestion I did not want to hear. Sometimes it is something simple that someone shares in a meeting. Sometimes it is a quiet moment during prayer when a new thought comes to mind about how I could do things differently. I have learned that if I stay humble and willing, God can speak to me through anyone. Recovery did not replace my faith. It helped me experience God in a much more practical way. The Steps and principles of recovery became a “here’s how you do it manual” for living happy, joyous, and free. They help me apply the spiritual principles I had believed in for years to my real situations. That is the gift of recovery for me.

Prayer
Father, thank You for guiding me even when I wasn’t aware of it. Help me stay humble and willing to listen. Teach me to hear Your voice and recognize when You are guiding me. Thank You for leading me one step at a time. Amen.

Fixing Me, Not Him

Seeing My Part

Peace came when I stopped trying to fix him and started letting God work on me.

O God, let the secrets of my heart be uncovered, and let my wandering thoughts be tested:
See if there is any way of sorrow in me, and be my guide in the eternal way. Psalm 139:23–24

My youngest daughter plays softball and she really enjoys it. Last year I volunteered to help coach her team. It was a great season. This year I signed her up and volunteered to help coach again. When I showed up for the assessments, I was informed that I was the manager. I told them I could not make that commitment due to my work schedule. So another volunteer and I agreed to co-manage and co-coach the team. Except his name was listed as the manager. It didn’t bother me at the time. We had worked together before.

Over the weekend there was a coach’s meeting which he attended. He didn’t inform me about it either. There have been other communications that he has received about the team that he has not shared with me. At our last practice, I suggested to him that we get together over coffee and discuss our game plan etc. He seemed uninterested and I felt dismissed. I was hurt that he didn’t accept my invitation, and there has been no direct communication from him. I was not only hurt but I started to get angry. I started questioning why I didn’t accept the manager’s position in the first place. Why did I defer?

This was still bothering the next morning. When things bother me or upset me now, I have tools to use to get me through it. So, I decided to apply my recovery principles and write about it. I asked myself, Why was I hurt? Why was I upset? As I sat with it for a bit, I realized I felt out of control. I felt powerless. I felt unwanted and not important. There it is. My character defect of feeling not good enough was staring at me and mocking me. When I saw it was my issue being triggered, I knew I had to surrender this to God and let it go. My character defects do not just go away. They are still present with me today. The difference is that I am not as bothered by them as I used to be. They don’t take up camp and stay with me as long anymore. I am able to spot them much sooner than I used to. I am no longer in denial about my defects or that I have a part to play. Things were not done to me, they were just done. I am the one who was hurt.

After I wrote about it and saw my part, I knew I had something to do. I told God about my hurts and how I felt. I asked for His guidance and wisdom in dealing with the situation. I felt the hurt leave and peace fill my mind. At the same time, my anger began to fade. I had a couple of new thoughts come into my mind and I followed them. I chose to focus on fixing me and not him. When I focus on changing me, it keeps resentment from developing later. I contacted this person, met with him, and asked him to share the information with me. I asked what he needed from me, and I shared what I needed from him as well. I resisted the urge to tell him how wrong I thought he was. I did not challenge his leadership. We shared as friends, and it was a very good meeting. I think we grew closer. I am glad that I followed the ideas that came to me in prayer. It was God leading me and guiding me. That is the gift of recovery for me today.

Prayer

Father, thank You for helping me notice when old hurts rise up. Remind me to slow down and bring them to You. Help me always see my part and surrender it to You. Thank You for the peace You give me when I follow You. Amen.

THE ROLE OF OUR CONSCIENCE

(An excerpt from my book Hearing God’s Voice Every Day!)

OUR BORN-AGAIN CONSCIENCE

the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you. John 14:17

The world CANNOT receive the Holy Spirit! We the believers CAN and DO. This is an extremely important key. Holy Spirit is for believers, NOT THE WORLD. The world CANNOT receive Holy Spirit.

⁷ Nevertheless I tell you the truth. It is to your advantage that I go away; for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you; but if I depart, I will send Him to you. ⁸ And when He has come, He will convict the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment: ⁹ of sin, because they do not believe in Me; ¹⁰ of righteousness, because I go to My Father and you see Me no more; ¹¹ of judgment, because the ruler of this world is judged. ¹² I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now. ¹³ However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come. John 16:7-13

Holy Spirit does not convict believers of sin. He convicts the world of sin. This may be news to you. The world cannot receive Holy Spirit, only believers can, that is why He convicts them (the world) of sin, because they do not believe in Jesus. We do believe in Jesus, so we have Holy Spirit inside of us. I am aware that there are many in the church today who believe that Holy Spirit does convict believers of sin. But you will not find support for this thought and belief in the Bible. It is a religious tradition and man-made theology. I am not saying this in a judgmental way, but to remove guilt from your thinking. This teaching will hinder you in hearing from God because you will view the Holy Spirit differently and some even become afraid. The believer need not be afraid of Holy Spirit. Holy Spirit is our Guide. He guides us. There is a difference.

I am not saying that believers are not convicted of wrongdoing. Believers are. It is just, that it is not Holy Spirit who is convicting believers. It’s our born-again conscience that convicts us. The Bible says that our own conscience convicts us of sin. If our conscience is soft and tender toward God and we are willing to listen and obey. Obey means to do what He asks. Once we accept this concept, it opens the door for us to trust and have confidence in our own born-again conscience. Remember the Bible tells us that He gives us a new heart and a new spirit. The old heart is taken away. The old man died with Christ. Once we are in Christ, we are one with Him. He has filled us with the fullness of His Spirit. He leads us by His Spirit that resides inside our spirit. Our spirit and His Spirit are one. (1 Corinthians 6:17). Because our spirit is one with His spirit, we can now trust that our spirit is safe to listen to and follow. Christ takes up residency inside of the believer by His Spirit, or Holy Spirit. We know that God does not dwell in sin, this is why the person must be born again. If Holy Spirit entered a non-born-again spirit, they would be destroyed. Jesus explains this principle to us in the analogy of the wineskins. He said you cannot put new wine in old wineskins, or both will be destroyed, but new wine must be put in new wineskins and then both will be preserved. (Luke 5:37-38). This analogy is referring to us needing to have a new spirit, being born again, born of the spirit (John 3:6) so that we can receive God’s spirit (New Wine) into our spirit (Wineskin). Since we have a brand new born-again spirit that comes from God and He has filled it with His Spirit, then suffice it to say, we can trust what our spirit is telling us. The spirit of man is the candle of the Lord.

Proverbs 20:27
The spirit of a man is the lamp of the Lord, Searching all the inner depths of his heart.

This verse explains to us that God speaks to us, leads us, and guides us by illuminating our spirit.

Let’s look at some examples of the conscience convicting people from the scriptures.

Then those who heard it, being convicted by their conscience, went out one by one, beginning with the oldest even to the last. And Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst. John 8:9

Notice how these individuals were convicted. They were convicted by their own conscience. And they left one by one. They were not convicted by Holy Spirit.

Then Paul, looking earnestly at the council, said, “Men and brethren, I have lived in all good conscience before God until this day.” Acts 23:1

Paul’s defense was that he lived in all good conscience. Why was this his defense? Paul was very well educated in the Scriptures and the Law. And there was no rebuttal to his defense. None! I can’t help but ask “Why?”. I think it is because they all knew that it was their own conscience that convicted them.

This being so, I myself always strive to have a conscience without offense toward God and men. Acts 24:16

Here again, Paul is describing how his conscience was pure before God. We know that Paul had killed Christians before his conversion. And he also admitted that he was chief of sinners (1 Timothy 1:15). Even though Paul was a chief sinner in the Law before coming to Christ, his born-again conscience, in Christ could now be trusted. He was now innocent and righteous through Christ.

who show the work of the law written in their hearts, their conscience also bearing witness, and between themselves their thoughts accusing or else excusing them) Romans 2:15

Our own conscience will bear witness with us. This is another way of saying confirmation. Our own conscience inside of us, will either accuse or convict us or it will exonerate and excuse us.

I tell the truth in Christ, I am not lying, my conscience also bearing me witness in the Holy Spirit, Romans 9:1

Part of Paul’s defense was that his own conscience bore witness within him. Paul also says this was in the Holy Spirit. This tells us that Holy Spirit bears witness with our conscience.

However, there is not in everyone that knowledge; for some, with consciousness of the idol, until now eat it as a thing offered to an idol; and their conscience, being weak, is defiled. 1 Corinthians 8:7

Here Paul tells us that if our own conscience is weak, it won’t convict us when it should. Our conscience can even be so seared that it is scarred and not sensitive and then cannot be trusted. (1 Timothy 4:2)

²⁵ Eat whatever is sold in the meat market, asking no questions for conscience’ sake; ²⁶ for “the earth is the LORD’S, and all its fullness.” ²⁷ If any of those who do not believe invites you to dinner, and you desire to go, eat whatever is set before you, asking no question for conscience’ sake. ²⁸ But if anyone says to you, “This was offered to idols,” do not eat it for the sake of the one who told you, and for conscience’ sake; for “the earth is the LORD’S, and all its fullness.” ²⁹ “Conscience,” I say, not your own, but that of the other. For why is my liberty judged by another man’s conscience? 1 Corinthians 10:25-29

Although Paul is specifically addressing being able to eat unclean foods, which was against the Jewish Law, he explains that our conscience can make us feel guilty even when we are innocent. He also gives insight that our conscience judges us and us alone. Our conscience doesn’t judge others. Paul said in another place “If we would judge ourselves, we should not be judged” 1 Corinthians 11:31.

Now when they heard this, they were pricked in their heart, and said to Peter and the rest of the apostles, “Men and brethren, what shall we do?” Acts 2:37

Here we see that the people were pricked in their heart after hearing the preaching of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Their own consciences made them feel remorse and convicted them, and they asked what they should do. They repented and were born again.

There’s another phrase used that is a little different but similar. It is “cut to the heart”. The Greek word used here means to cut asunder. It is defined as; to get to the core issue. In the following verses we see that the people addressed heard a message that cut right down to the core. They were convicted by their own conscience through the message they heard. These though chose a different path than those above. These did not repent and change. They got angry. Their consciences were seared, and they had a predetermined mind to not listen to their consciences.

But when these words came to their ears, they were cut to the heart, and had a mind to put them to death. Acts 5:33

“You stiff-necked and uncircumcised in heart and ears! You always resist the Holy Spirit; as your fathers did, so do you. Acts 7:51

When they heard these things, they were cut to the heart, and they gnashed at him with their teeth. Acts 7:54

A NEW WAY

but he is a Jew who is one inwardly; and circumcision is that of the heart, in the Spirit, not in the letter; whose praise is not from men but from God. Romans 2:29

This verse may seem like it doesn’t belong here, but oh how it does. Paul is saying that circumcision now is no longer in the flesh but in the heart. This is our conscience. The word circumcision means to cut. And to enter into the Abrahamic covenant as a Jew, one needed to become circumcised in the foreskin of the flesh. This was the entrance, by blood, into the Abrahamic covenant. Now through Jesus Christ, we enter into a covenant with God by circumcising our hearts, not our flesh. The entrance into this covenant is still by blood and the cutting of human flesh. It is not by cutting our flesh and having our blood flow, it is by the offering made by Jesus Christ on the cross. His flesh was cut, and His blood flowed. So, we now enter in vicariously through faith. It is our heart that is cut or circumcised. This happens when our conscience feels the tug of conviction through the words being preached.(See Romans 4:9-12, 1 Timothy 1:5, Hebrews 10:22)

²⁰ For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things. ²¹ Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence toward God. 1 John 3:20-21

Once we are born again and have a new heart, a pure heart. A heart created in the image and likeness of God. A new spirit – His spirit is dwelling inside us. We then can trust and have confidence in the leading and guiding of our conscience. Our spirit man.

We must stay tender to God and listen and obey the leading of our conscience or recreated newly born-again spirit. If we do not do so, our conscience can become seared and then can no longer be trusted as a guide.

(An excerpt from my book Hearing God’s Voice Every Day!)

HOW JESUS USED THE WORD OF GOD

(An excerpt from my book Hearing God’s Voice Every Day!)

We are going to take a peek at how Jesus used the Word of God in His daily life. Here is one example that we have. Now remember Jesus was alone, all by Himself when these events happened. So how do we know about them? He told His disciples and had them record it. It must have been important for Him to specifically recall it, and have the to do so. We see the interchnage in Luke 4:1-13

¹ Then Jesus, being filled with the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan and was led by the Spirit into the wilderness,

Jesus is our example of how we should live our lives and how we should do things. Jesus heard from God, and He used the word of God when He dealt with the tempter – the devil. Jesus is our example. Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness, a deserted place. Jesus was alone. All by Himself. No other human person was with Him.

²being tempted for forty days by the devil. And in those days, He ate nothing, and afterward, when they had ended, He was hungry.

Jesus was tempted for 40 days by the devil. Let me say that again. Jesus was tempted by the devil. Not by God. The devil is the tempter. We have the account of only three occurrences here, but it clearly says He was tempted for 40 days. He was also fasting for 40 days and afterward he was hungry. Then comes the tempter again. Are you seeing the picture here? Medical science tells us that around day 40 of not eating starvation begins and people usually start to die. He was literally starving when tempted to turn the stone into bread. He was HUNGRY.

³And the devil said to Him, “If You are the Son of God, command this stone to become bread.”

The tempter tempts us when and where we are weak. He tempts us where we have a NEED. He challenges our status and authority, as well as our natural desire to survive and live.

⁴But Jesus answered him, saying, “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God.’ ” (Deut. 8:3)

Jesus used the Word of God to fight off the temptation. No doubt Jesus was hungry it tells us so – but that He was tempted means He thought about doing it. Sometimes we think that since Jesus was God and He always was constantly thinking God’s thoughts. But it clearly says that Jesus was tempted. He thought about doing it. James 1:13-14 tells us clearly that God does not ever tempt anyone but instead, each of us is tempted by our own desires. What kept Him in check? What helped Him in the midst of this temptation to stay strong? It was the written Word of God. Jesus is That Mana. He IS the Word of God and the Bread of Life, and even He used the established written Word of God in His battle.

⁵Then the devil, taking Him up on a high mountain, showed Him all the kingdoms of the world in a moment of time.⁶ And the devil said to Him, “All this authority I will give You, and their glory; for this has been delivered to me, and I give it to whomever I wish. ⁷Therefore, if You will worship before me, all will be Yours.”

Again, the tempter attacks Jesus in an area where He has a NEED. A desire (James 1:14) Jesus came into the world for this purpose. He came to take back the authority that Adam lost in the Garden of Eden. And Jesus thought about it. Maybe just a millisecond, but He did think about it. If Jesus never thought about doing it, then it would not have been a temptation.

⁸ And Jesus answered and said to him, “Get behind Me, Satan! For it is written, ‘You shall worship the LORD your God, and Him only you shall serve.’ “ (Deut. 6:13)

I love how Jesus rebukes that old slimeball. Get behind Me satan. It means do not tempt me, I reject you, your statements, your beliefs, and your quotes. It means you did not do what you attempted or tried. We have some more modern ways of saying that. Get lost, Get out of my way, Take a hike, Beat it, Kick rocks, Take a long walk off a short pier, and Don’t let the door hit you on your way out. You choose which one fits your style, but they all have the same inference.

⁹ Then he brought Him to Jerusalem, set Him on the pinnacle of the temple, and said to Him, “If You are the Son of God, throw Yourself down from here. ¹⁰ For it is written: ‘He shall give His angels charge over you, to keep you,’ ¹¹ “and, ‘In their hands they shall bear you up, Lest you dash your foot against a stone.’ “

(Psalm 91:11-12)

This part I think is the most enlightening. The enemy used the scripture to try and trick Jesus. Jesus had been using scripture the whole time. So, the enemy tries to use something that Jesus is familiar with and is a source of strength for Him, to cause Him to let down His guard. This tells us that it is not only important for us to know what the words in the word of God are, but we must also know what they mean and how to apply them.

¹² And Jesus answered and said to him, “It has been said, ‘You shall not tempt the LORD your God.’ “

(Deut 6:16)

If Jesus the Son of God in the flesh… needed to learn, know, and use the scriptures… my friends we need to as well, and even more so. Jesus whipped the devil with three verses all from the book of Deuteronomy (see citations). We have 66 books of the Bible, and we can use them all. Get behind me, devil!

¹³Now when the devil had ended every temptation, he departed from Him until an opportune time.

Just because you have one victory over the enemy doesn’t mean you will never have another opportunity. The devil will keep looking for an opportune time to try and get at you. Just like he did with Jesus. This is why we need to stay tuned into God and His word. There will be another time. We need to be prepared and ready.

But evil men and impostors will grow worse and worse, has deceiving and being deceived. But you must continue in the things which you have learned and been assured of, knowing from whom you have learned them, and that from childhood you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, 2 Timothy 3:13-16

Every Scripture is God-breathed (given by His inspiration) and profitable for instruction, for reproof and conviction of sin, for correction of error and discipline in obedience, [and] for training in righteousness (in holy living, in conformity to God’s will in thought, purpose, and action), 2 Timothy 3:16 (Amplified Version)

The word of God is our “reed”. It’s a standard that we use to judge all things against. Let God be true and every man a Liar. (Romans 3:4).

His Word is forever settled in Heaven (Psalm 119:89)
He has exalted His Word above His Name (Psalm 138:2)
His Name is Called the Word of God (Revelation 19:13)
Jesus is the Word (John 1:1-14)
God works with and confirms His Word (Mark 16:20)

God’s Word keeps us safe and secure. We can trust His word implicitly. As we continue in His word, we are His disciples (sheep) and then we will know the Truth and that Truth will make us free.

³¹Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, “If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed. ³² And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” John 8:31-32

This may seem like a simple point, and straightforward, but I cannot emphasize it enough. As we continue in God’s word, the more we read, learn, and know, the more we will learn and know. This then makes it easier to hear God’s voice. Because we start to know God’s nature. What He likes and doesn’t like; what pleases Him; what His will is in given situations, (His Word is His will), then we can more easily know when He is speaking to us. Because we know God will never violate His word. He will speak in conjunction with what He has previously said in the past. “He is the same yesterday, today, and forever.” Hebrews 13:8. Jesus said, “to him that more will be given” Mark 4:25. And when Jesus said this, He was talking about having ears to hear. He said to watch what you hear and how you hear. And the degree of hearing is in proportion to the degree of importance you give to hearing. (Mark 4:22-25)

(An excerpt from my book Hearing God’s Voice Every Day!)

Fear Disguised as Discernment

Faith Over Fear

I recently had to ask myself an uncomfortable question: Am I truly waiting on God, or am I stalling because of fear?

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. James 1:5

Lately I have been asking myself an uncomfortable question. When I say I am waiting on God, am I really just afraid of change and settling for what feels familiar? My wife and I have been talking about a major life decision. I found myself quickly dismissing it without even thinking or praying about it. I convinced myself I was waiting on God. Counting the cost. Being wise. That language sounds scriptural and spiritual, and some of it may even be. Who was I fooling? Not my wife! She is so awesome and patient with me. Once I finally started to think and pray about it seriously, a harder question rose up. Am I truly seeking God’s direction in this area, or am I being intimidated by fear and calling it discernment? I am content with where I am. Or maybe I am just comfortable. Recovery has taught me that fear seldom announces itself and says, “Hey, look at me.” Many times it speaks in very calm, reasonable tones. Sometimes it sounds like wisdom.

Waiting on God and hiding from change can look very similar from the outside. Both involve pausing. Both involve prayer. Both involve caution. The difference is in the motive. Wisdom pauses to listen. Fear pauses to avoid discomfort. Wisdom seeks clarity. Fear seeks certainty. I realized that part of me wanted guarantees. I wanted to know how it would work out. I wanted assurances before taking any step at all. But that is not how faith works. That is not how God leads me. He asks me to take a step of faith, like Peter, stepping out on the water in the middle of the storm. There is a reason He gave me the Holy Spirit. There is a reason He is called the Comforter. Why would I need comfort or a Comforter if I were never to face an uncomfortable situation? And if I were never in an uncomfortable situation, am I really walking in faith? Scripture tells me to seek God and ask Him for wisdom. God provides the outcomes. He does give assurance according to His promises. And His promises come after I step out in faith and obedience. It is up to me to seek God’s will, and ask for direction then act in obedience.

Recovery has given me the ability to examine my motives honestly. Once I see them, I don’t beat myself up for them. I acknowledge them and admit the truth of what I see. The truth is, I am afraid. I feel uncertain about the decision. At the same time, comfort is available. I also have the desire and willingness to seek God’s will. I don’t want fear making decisions for me, and I don’t want impatience making them either. I want clarity. If God says stay, I will stay. If He says move, I will move. My responsibility isn’t to avoid the question or force an answer. My responsibility is to seek Him sincerely and be willing to act when He makes the direction clear. That cannot happen if I never even ask or seek Him. When I do that, I am practicing honesty and humility instead of control. It is liberating. Being able to recognize and see my true self – that is the gift of recovery for me.

Prayer

Father, help me recognize when I am being intimidated by fear. Teach me how to seek Your will and trust Your promises even when the path ahead is uncertain. Give me the courage to act when You make the way clear. Help me walk by faith and not by fear. Amen.

Not My Own Higher Power

Restored Through Love

For years I tried to fix what only love could heal. Step Two slowed me down and reminded me I am not my own higher power.

for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure. Philippians 2:13

I was recently speaking with my sponsor about Step 2. We are working through the steps again. He asked what my thoughts were about my higher power. Thinking I knew the answer and where we were going, I started telling him about God being my higher power and describing what I believed about Him. He stopped me and said very plainly, “We don’t get to God until Step 3. We are talking about Step 2. I asked you to tell me about your higher power.” I paused. I was already jumping ahead in my mind. We were not talking about surrendering to God’s will. We were talking about believing that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. He was slowing me down to think about what that actually means instead of assuming. He gave me an assignment to describe the qualities and characteristics of my higher power.

This was harder than I expected. I had to stop thinking about the attributes of God and instead think about what I need from a higher power to restore me to sanity. I had to change my perspective. Here is what I came up with. My higher power is loving, caring, and accepting. He understands me and listens to me. He comforts me and gives me strength when I am weak and overwhelmed. When I do not know what to do, He gives me guidance. He is bigger and more powerful than me, more knowledgeable and smarter than me. My higher power is not me. He can do for me what I cannot do for myself. He can bring healing and sanity into my life. He works in my life as I surrender and believe. My higher power loves me unconditionally.

What I concluded is that I need a higher power to help me. I cannot change on my own. For years I tried to do it myself. I made myself my own higher power. In Step 1 I learned that I was powerless over the effects of alcohol. In Step 2 I learn that I need a power greater than me to help me be free. As I listed the qualities I was looking for, I realized something. Everything I described had to do with being loved and accepted. That is where many of my character defects begin. At the core are two lies I believe about myself and have carried with me for years: I am not good enough, and I am not wanted. I have spent much of my life trying to prove myself and earn the love and acceptance I lacked growing up. In doing that, I had inadvertently made myself my own higher power. I tried to fix what only love could heal.

To be restored to sanity, I needed more than I could do on my own. I needed to know I was loved. The qualities I described about my higher power speak directly to that need. Loving. Accepting. Understanding. Guiding. Stronger than me. Not me. When I believe in a power like that, my thinking shifts. I no longer have to prove myself. I no longer have to try and be good enough. I can believe that I am accepted and wanted. I am loved. That is where my healing begins and sanity returns. That is the gift of recovery to me.

Prayer

God, thank You for accepting me as I am. Help me to be honest about my needs. I still struggle with feeling wanted and loved. I know in my head that You offer unconditional love. Please allow me to be able to see and feel it. Amen

Feeding My Recovery

My Daily Bread

I cannot live on the recovery I had last year. Today I choose to feed my recovery.

Give us this day our daily bread. Matthew 6:11

I once read that the human body can survive about forty days without food before starvation sets in, and only about three days without water. That stayed with me. Food and water are not optional. They are necessities that keep my body alive. At many recovery meetings I’ve attended, we close by reciting the Lord’s Prayer. One line always stands out to me: give us today our daily bread. It is such a simple reminder. I have to eat to live. I have to drink to survive. I cannot live today on the food I ate last year. I might get by for a little while without food, but eventually if I don’t eat, I would starve to death.

What is true in the natural is also true in my spiritual life. Whether it is my relationship with God or my recovery, the principle is the same. I need spiritual food and water to survive. For me, that means doing step work with my sponsor and reading recovery literature, including the Bible. That is my food. It gives me nourishment and knowledge. Attending meetings, sharing with others, talking with my sponsor, and prayer are like water. They refresh me. They keep me encouraged. I need both to stay healthy in my recovery. I cannot live on the recovery I had last year. Even if I have twenty years of sobriety, if I am not doing the work today, my recovery will shrivel up and die. It will starve. It will become dehydrated. I open the door to relapse.

This thought may sound harsh and seem unsettling at first, but it actually gives me comfort. I am not a victim. I am not someone sitting around waiting to die. I have choices. I can read something that challenges me. I can attend a meeting. I can call my sponsor. I can pray. These are not small things. They are how I stay alive in recovery. And today I choose to take the next right action. I choose to practice this program. When I do, something shifts. I find more peace. I feel balanced. I do not swing from one extreme to another. I feel steady and grounded. Today I choose to feed my recovery.

Reflection

Am I living on yesterday’s recovery, or am I feeding it today?

Ask How, Not Why

Stop asking why. Start asking how. Then take the next right step.

But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. James 1:22

Not long ago I received some unpleasant and alarming news about my health. It was unnerving. I was scared. My mind drifted to the worst-case scenario. I convinced myself I would be disabled, that my life as I knew it was over. None of that was true, but that is where my thinking took me. I fell into a depression for several months. I kept asking why this was happening to me. I am a good person. This is not fair. I thought I was practicing acceptance, but in reality I was resisting it and slipping into fatalism, something I do not believe in. I had not accepted anything. I was feeling sorry for myself. I became reclusive. I was hard to be around. I was edgy and filled with anger. I was stuck. Prayer was hard. I did not want to talk to God. My belief system was challenged.

I was discussing my situation with my mentor, and he questioned the mindset I had slipped into. He challenged the assumption that I was disabled or that my life was over. That bothered me. I did not like being questioned. But I knew he was right. It forced me to examine myself and stop being defiant toward God. Deep down I knew He was my only help, so I began to pray again. As I talked to God about my situation, like He did not already know, I sensed Him ask, Why don’t you put into practice what you believe? I knew exactly what He meant. I had stopped practicing my spiritual disciplines. I was not using my recovery tools. I kept insisting that I needed to know why this was happening. But would knowing why actually move me forward? No. I knew I needed to move out of the why, but I did not know how. So I began asking how. How can I get unstuck? How can I change my mindset? How can I move forward from here?

What I discovered was that the how required action. I used the same recovery tools I already had and applied them to this new situation. I worked the steps around my health and diagnosis. I took small practical steps each day. As I shifted from why to how, my mindset shifted too. I accepted the situation for what it was instead of the catastrophe I had imagined. I stopped running from God and returned to my spiritual disciplines. I stopped seeing myself as a victim. The depression lifted. I began taking care of myself again. I found peace in the middle of chaos.

There are still days when I am tempted to ask why, but why has become irrelevant to me in my recovery. It keeps me where I am. Why is about the past and how is about the future. I have decided to live looking forward instead of looking back. When I ask how, I act. And action moves me out of paralysis and back into recovery.

Prayer

Lord, help me stop getting lost in the whys. Help me seek You in the how. Show me how to act, grow, and recover. Give me the courage to move forward in Your strength. Amen.

GOD’S HEARING AIDES

(An excerpt from my book Hearing God’s Voice Every Day!)

God has placed safeguards for us. These safeguards serve more than one purpose. They help us stay safe “so we are not lead astray by every wind of doctrine” (Ephesians 4:14), they help us stay strong against the enemy, they help us “rightly dividing His Word” (2 Timothy 2:15), they help us hear Him better (Hebrews 5:14), they help us develop our own fruit (John 15:5) (fruit of the spirit and spiritual fruit – two different things – but that’s another lesson), they help us to “tune in” to His frequency.

HIS FREQUENCY

The description of a radio is a great example of how this works. Think of a radio station. It is always broadcasting. If I am unable to hear station 99.1 on my radio, I have to do some troubleshooting to figure out why. Do I have a proper radio that will pick up the frequency? Do I have an antenna? And is the antenna the right kind? Am I connected to a power source either electric current or battery-operated? Do I have the radio turned on? Is the radio tuned to the correct channel and band (AM or FM)? Once I have the signal, is it fine-tuned to pick it up clearly? Do I have the volume set to the right level? Each one of these things can cause me to not be able to hear the broadcast coming from the station. Or to not hear it clearly. I do not think anyone would automatically assume the station was not broadcasting if they couldn’t hear the station. It is the same way with God. He is always broadcasting – He is always speaking to us. If we are not able to hear Him, then we need to first check our “equipment” to make sure it’s not broken and it’s working properly and make sure that it is plugged into the power source and tuned to the correct channel.

In this analogy, our equipment or radio is our born-again conscience, the Word of God, and praying in the spirit. Our equipment is also a safeguard for us to keep us on the correct path and make sure we do not tune into a different channel or be misled or deceived in any way.

SAFEGUARDS

Let us talk about some of these safeguards. There are many safeguards God has set in order, to help and guide us. The list below is by no means exhaustive, but merely a few examples to help us think about things differently. When we begin to think from a kingdom mindset then we demonstrate the true repentance that both John the Baptist and Jesus preached. For the Kingdom of Heaven is surely “at hand”.

His Word
Our Born-Again Conscience
Praying in the Spirit
Holy Spirit
Meditating
Worship
Peace
Spiritual Mentors (Discipleship – not TV/ Radio ministers) – Relationship is involved.

For this lesson, we will address His Word and our born-again conscience. In the next chapter, we will cover praying in the spirit.

HIS WORD

Although to some it may seem self-evident that God’s word would be a basic safety net when wanting to hear from God, even though it may seem this way, many people do not connect the dots and do not understand this concept.

Having a basic understanding of God’s word helps us to know when God is speaking to us. We have a measurement tool to use and verify if the content is from the same source. We take what we hear or perceive and hold it up next to God’s word and see if they say the same or similar thing.

My son, give attention to my words; Incline your ear to my sayings. Do not let them depart from your eyes; Keep them in the midst of your heart; For they are life to those who find them, And health to all their flesh. Proverbs 4:20-22 Amplified

As we incline our ears to His Word and give priority to His word, His word will be life and health to our flesh.

I have restrained my feet from every evil way, That I may keep Your word. Psalm 119:101

This says that we must restrain ourselves from evil so that we can keep His word.

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. Psalm 119:105

His word sheds light on our path which means He leads us and directs and guides us. A lamp to our feet means we will not stub our toe or stumble because the light is on our feet where we walk. This shows us that not only does God give us broad big picture direction, but He will also give us the small details and make sure that where we go is lit up. Of course, we have to listen to and obey His word to see this result.

You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you.John 15:3

His word makes us clean and pure. One of my favorite verses in the Bible is Matthew 5:8 “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” We are clean and pure before God when we hear His word. This gives us confidence that we can come before Him with boldness.

Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words will by no means pass away. Matthew 24:35

His word will never pass away. It says that Heaven and earth will pass away. We know from Revelation 21:1 that at the end of the age, heaven and earth will pass away and there will be a new heaven and a new earth. But His word will remain. He is the Word.

These verses above outline for us some of the ways that doing this protects us and keeps us safe. God’s words bring us life and health, they keep us from evil, and they shed light on our path so we will know God’s will for our lives. They keep us clean, and pure in our minds and souls. And they can be counted on and relied upon until the end of time – forever.

God and His word are One. Jesus is the Word of God. (John 1:1) The Word of God is God. I am not referring to the ink, paper, and binding of a book, but the words contained on the pages. The Spirit of those words. Imagine the more you know God’s word, the more you know God. I would like to add a caveat to that statement. What does it mean to know God’s word? I do not mean just being able to read, memorize and recite words. The word must get inside of you, it must be real and come alive. The word is a light that “shines in the darkness” of your heart and mind (John 1:5) “until the day dawns, and the morning star rises in your heart” (2 Peter 1:19). When this happens, it brings a spiritual understanding and establishes what you have heard. This is also called a revelation. Paul refers to this as having the eyes of your understanding enlightened so that you may know His will. (Ephesians 1:18)

Have you ever heard the phrase “it just dawned on me”? This verse in 2 Peter is where that phrase comes from. And when someone uses that phrase, they are referring to something that just became aware to them in their mind. Something they were not previously thinking about or may not have understood. Then suddenly a light bulb goes off on the inside and a fresh new perspective arises inside. That is the day dawning in your heart. That is revelation straight from God.

(An excerpt from my book Hearing God’s Voice Every Day!)

The Highest Power

Admitting I am powerless doesn’t make me weak. It connects me to the Highest Power.
When I draw near to Him, He draws near to me.

Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. James 4:8

As far back as I can remember I have always believed in God. By that I mean I believed that God existed, He created everything, He was all-powerful, Jesus was His Son and He died on the cross and rose again and was the way to eternal life in heaven. But beyond that I didn’t have a relationship with God. In my thinking God was distant and removed, He didn’t interact in my life on a regular basis, let alone daily. I remember the day that I finally saw more and surrendered my life to God and accepted Jesus as my Savior. It was amazing. But if I am honest, I didn’t change the way I viewed God. He was still distant and off in the future, He wasn’t here and now. The principles of recovery walked me through a process where I began to see God more intimately involved in my daily life. Developing a personal relationship with Him is what working a recovery program is all about. I saw Him as the One True Higher Power.

It was the admission that I am powerless over my addictions or compulsive behaviors that opened me up to reach out to the fullness of God. When I asked for His power to help and heal me, I began to understand that He wants to transform me. He does so by filling my life with His love, His joy, His hope, and His presence. I learned in Steps 1 and 2 that I needed to turn my attention away from myself and instead turn it toward God. This would be my turning point. This is where healing and freedom began for me. I felt overwhelmed and stranded when I realized that I can’t heal myself. Considering I needed divine help was scary. God is the only one who has the power to replace my chaos with freedom, and I had no idea how He would close that distance.

Of course, He knew long before I did what was needed. That is why He sent Jesus to demonstrate God’s love and power here on earth. He saved me from the grip of sin and the destruction it was bringing into my life. He gave an example of how to live out that relationship with God on a daily basis. He was tempted in every area and in every way that I am, but without failure and without sin. He is not just my higher power. He is the Highest Power, because He has conquered all life can dish out. He did that for me so I could experience freedom and intimacy with Him in my own life. When I acknowledge my own powerlessness, I see His power sustaining me daily no matter what I face.

Today, admitting my powerlessness does not make me feel weak. Instead, it is exactly how I draw strength. When I surrender to God, He does not leave me stranded to face my challenges alone. I am not abandoned. He is present and active in my life. He no longer feels distant. I know He is with me. This happens when I stop resisting Him. It may seem like the opposite of what I should do, but it is simply an act of faith. I am learning that this is what trusting Him looks like. When I give up control and surrender to Him, I receive Him. He is the Highest Power.

Prayer

Lord, I give up control again today. I confess that I cannot heal myself or carry this life alone. Draw me close to You and help me stay close. When I feel weak, remind me that Your strength is enough. Thank You for being the Highest Power in my life. Amen.

Serenity Prayer

A Guided Prayer Meditation

Serenity Prayer is not just words I repeat in meetings. It is more than that. It has become a new way of thinking, practicing surrender, and living my life each day. This is how I practice it in real life. I use the full prayer.

God,

God is the source of my help, not me. I need help from a power greater than me. (Step 1) He is God and I am not.

Grant me the Serenity

I need peace and sanity in my life and I cannot get it by myself or I would already possess it. I am insane. I have crazy thinking. Things either now are or will get chaotic beyond my control.

To accept the things I cannot change.

My challenge is acceptance. Acceptance is the answer to all of my problems today. I cannot change things no matter how much I think I might be able to.

The courage to change the things I can,

Change is not easy. It is actually very hard. That is why it takes courage, courage which I do not possess on my own. I need God to give me courage. After I accept whatever it is that I can change, then I need to confront it with God’s help.

And the wisdom to know the difference.

I need God’s wisdom to help me know what I have control over and what I do not. The wisdom to know what I need to change and what I cannot change.

Living one day at a time,

It helps me to take things in small chunks. “The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” Confucius. I can do something for a few hours that I would not be able to do if I thought I had to do it for the rest of my life.

Enjoying one moment at a time;

I need God’s help to enjoy life, to stop and smell the roses. I mean literally stop while I am walking and bend over and smell the flowers. Not just figurative talk. I need to enjoy life and not be so negative.

Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace;

I do not like this part of the prayer. I do not want any hardship at all. Ever. But that is unrealistic thinking and it sets me up for future resentments. So I ask God to help me accept hardship and then ask Him to show me a pathway toward peace in the midst of it.

Taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is;

This tells me that Jesus practiced acceptance too. He lived and operated in this sinful world and as it was. He did God’s will in the midst of chaos and evil.

Not as I would have it;

He did not insist that everyone do it His way, even though His way was God’s way. He allowed people to make their own choices. He accepted and loved them anyway, even though they did things against God’s will and His plan. I need to release my demand that others live according to my expectations.

Trusting

I ask God to help me trust. Sometimes trusting Him is easy and sometimes trusting Him is very hard. The man in the Bible said, “Lord I believe; help my unbelief.” (Mark 9:24). After I learn to trust God, it becomes easier to start trusting others. Something I never did before recovery.

That You will make all things right

I can trust that He cares about me and for me. He is a loving, caring God who will bring good and make wrong things right if I surrender to Him and His will.

If I surrender to Your will;

Surrender is the key. I need to raise the white flag and surrender to God and to His will, holding up both hands in a humble posture.

So that I may be reasonably happy in this life

Happiness is a choice. Some say happiness is temporary but joy is eternal. I believe I can be reasonably happy, and many times very happy, in this life while still living in lasting joy.

And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Nothing gives more peace than knowing my eternal destiny is secure. That at the end of my life here on earth, I will go to heaven and be with Him forever.

AMEN

Amen means so be it. Let it happen. Or as I have heard in meetings, Let it begin with me.

Old Hurts Resurfacing

Assuming Rarely Helps

Finding my part helps me surrender old hurts.

Pile your troubles on God’s shoulders, He’ll carry your load, He’ll help you out.
He’ll never let good people topple into ruin. Psalm 55:22

I had been trying to reach out to a friend because I knew he was going through a tough time. We are not best friends, but we are friendly, and I wanted to encourage him and maybe see if he wanted to grab coffee. I texted him, called him, and left messages, but he never responded, not once. After a while, it hurt. My feelings were hurt, I assumed he was ghosting me. I started wondering if I had done something wrong, if I had offended him somehow, or if he just did not want to be my friend anymore. I couldn’t figure out why he was ignoring me. This was not normal for him. In the past, he had always replied. In my mind, he had received every message and every call and had purposely chosen not to respond.

A couple of weeks later, I ran into another friend who is really close to him. I asked how he was doing and was told he was doing well, and then it was casually mentioned that he had a new phone number. That was it. He never received any of my messages at all. Everything I had assumed had nothing to do with me. And that is often how recovery is for me. Something happens, I get hurt, and my mind immediately fills in the story. I feel rejected. I feel abandoned. I feel like I am not good enough. I take something that may not even involve me and turn it into proof that something is wrong with me. I decided to do some writing about this, and I quickly discovered that it was my character defects being stirred. When these old feelings surface, it is almost always my part. It is my thinking. And once I saw that, suddenly everything shifted in my mind. All the meaning I had assigned to the silence fell apart. That is how my thinking works when my character defects start to surface.

Before recovery, I would have kept calling and texting over and over. I would have tracked him down, even at his work, and pressed him for answers. My denial used to convince me that I was simply asking questions, but now I realize they were really accusations. That behavior never brought me peace. It never helped me feel better, only worse. More alienated and distant. Now I have another choice, a different response. I did not broadcast my hurt. I did not act on it. I used the slogan “Let Go And Let God” and I gave it over to the Lord. Even though the hurt was real, it was my issue to confront. I used the tools I have learned here in recovery, and I had peace and didn’t lose a friend. That is the gift of recovery in my life.

Prayer
God, help me to slow down and not jump to conclusions when my feelings get hurt. Show me my part and help me surrender my troubles to You and Your care. Remind me that You will carry me through every time. Amen.

There Is No Recovery Apart From God

He Was There All Along

I resisted recovery because I didn’t think God was in it. I was wrong.

Apart from Me you can do nothing. John 15:5

For a long time, I resisted recovery and spoke against it. I did not think God was in it. I believed it was built on humanistic ideology, self-effort, and spiritual language that replaced faith with psychology. Most of what I believed came from my own assumptions and from critics who, like me, had never actually done the work. I had strong opinions without firsthand knowledge. In my mind, choosing recovery meant compromising God. What I did not realize at the time was that I was rejecting something I had never honestly examined.

That changed when I finally read the literature for myself, especially the Big Book. What I found was not ambiguity but clarity. God is not hinted at. He is named. The Big Book explicitly identifies the Higher Power as God and rejects human self-sufficiency without apology. It states that human ideas failed and reliance on God succeeded. It forces the reader to face the proposition that God is everything or He is nothing, and it rejects neutrality altogether. Recovery is presented as dependent on seeking and relying on God, not as a supplement or optional aid. The steps themselves make this unmistakable. God is explicitly named and repeatedly appealed to. There is no recovery apart from God. That is not my conclusion. That is the text’s position.

Over time, I began to see a clear pattern in my own life. When I stayed close to God through prayer, meditation, honest journaling, and active work with my sponsor, I progressed steadily. When I drifted from God, my recovery drifted with me. What became undeniable was this: I would never recover if I did not put God first, not merely include Him. Recovery requires surrender to a Higher Power. The Big Book does not leave that Higher Power vague. It calls Him God. When God is treated as optional or unnamed, recovery tends to stall. When God is sought, healing follows. There is no recovery apart from God.

Prayer
Father God, apart from You I can do nothing. I no longer want to rely on my own ideas or strength. I choose to seek You first and surrender to You fully. Keep me close to You so my recovery and my life remain rooted in You alone. Amen.

Slowing Down for Today

Surrender is not just about giving God my future. It is also about giving God my today.

Do not be shaped by this world. Instead, be changed within by a new way of thinking. Then you will be able to decide what God wants for you; you will know what is good and pleasing to him and what is perfect. Romans 12:2

I remember the first time I worked the Steps with my sponsor. Yes, I did say first time. I moved through Steps One and Two quickly. Everything was going smoothly. In my mind, Step Three was already done. I had given my life to Christ as a teenager. I attended church regularly. I studied the Bible. I went to Bible college. I was licensed and ordained. I served in churches in many different ministry roles. I wasn’t new to the concept. So, I figured I could check off Step Three and move right on to Step Four. I told my sponsor, “I got this.”

My sponsor did not argue with me. He didn’t challenge my faith or question my sincerity. He simply suggested we slow down and do the work anyway. He said that if I was truly ready, the work would be easy. That surprised me. What I found was that while I had surrendered my life to Christ long ago, I still struggled with surrendering my will in the ways I thought I had. That started to become clear pretty quickly. Step Three took me weeks, while the first two steps had taken only days. I needed that slowdown, even though I did not realize it at the time. I am thankful God gave my sponsor the wisdom to slow me down and humble me.

What I began to see was how much my biblical knowledge had quietly replaced daily surrender. I had grown complacent. I had become confident in what I knew rather than attentive to how I lived. Pride and control showed up subtly. I assumed I had already completed Step Three because of my education and experience. My sponsor saw something I could not see yet, and God used him to interrupt my momentum. That interruption changed everything.

By slowing down and working the Steps in order, without skipping ahead, I learned something that reshaped my relationship with God. Step Three was not just about giving God my future. It was about giving Him my today too. When that shifted, everything else followed. My relationship with God transitioned from performance to grace and complete honesty. That made me ready to begin Step Four, an honest moral inventory.

Prayer
Lord help me to slow down and not rush ahead. I want to do things Your way and in order. Show me Your will for me and help me to carry it out. Amen.