Not Whatever

I stopped asking God to do what He asked me to do, and I stopped trying to do what only He can do.

For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him. Philippians 2:13

The other day I heard someone say 6-7 to me. I chuckled to myself. 6-7 has become a popular phrase lately and seems to be everywhere. From what I understand, people often use it to mean something like, either way, one or the other, whatever, it doesn’t really matter. There is even a hand motion that goes along with it that looks like weighing two options back and forth. When I hear 6-7, it means something entirely different to me.

In recovery, I call Steps 6 and 7 the change steps. They are all about change. Step Six says, “Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.” Step Seven says, “Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.” There is nothing indecisive or ambiguous about that. In fact, Step Six confronts my indecision. Was I really ready to let go of my old ways? I wanted God to change things in my life without me having to change. I wanted relief from consequences. I wanted relationships to get better. I wanted other people to behave differently. I wanted peace, but I was not ready to surrender the attitudes and behaviors that were stealing my peace. I knew my character defects were causing problems in my life. I was tired of the consequences. I even prayed continually for God to change me. But being tired of the consequences, or even wanting God to change me, was not the same thing as me actually being ready and willing to change. I wanted the pain to stop but wasn’t entirely ready to surrender what was causing it.

That is why Step Six matters so much to me. It asks a very direct question: Am I entirely ready? Not, am I tired of the consequences? Not, do I wish things were different? Not, do I know this behavior is unhealthy? Am I ready for God to remove it? I had to ask myself what I was still getting out of those defects. What need was being met? Control made me feel safe. Anger made me feel powerful. Being right helped hide my low self-esteem. People-pleasing made me feel accepted. I hated what these things were doing to my life but was unable to surrender them. It was scary to consider letting them go. What would I do? How would I protect myself? Step Six forced me to stop living in maybe, maybe not, either way, whatever. I had to become entirely willing.

Then came Step Seven. I had to humbly ask God to take away those defects of character, attitudes, and behaviors. I identified them. I admitted what they were costing me. I became willing to let them go. But I also had to let God do in me what I had been unable to do for myself. Asking Him to remove them did not mean God would do my part for me. I still had to do my part. I had to practice different responses, take inventory, make amends, listen when someone pointed out something I did not want to hear, and make different choices when the same situations came around again.

So I have my own meaning for 6-7. Six says, “I am willing.” Seven says, “God, I need Your help.” Neither one leaves room for whatever. Six and Seven call me out of indecision and into surrender. I stop asking God to do what He asked me to do, and I stop trying to do what only He can do.

Reflection

What am I asking God to change in me that I am still unable to let go of?

What need is being met?