Tag: umpire

Huge Little Thing

Sometimes it’s the little things show me just how much I have changed.

We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
Alcoholics Anonymous, The Promises

The other night I showed up to umpire a game unprepared. I did not have the right uniform with me. I umpire for several different organizations, and each one has its own uniform requirements. I asked the league representative if I could work the game with the uniform I brought with me, hoping they would say yes. Instead, they asked if I had enough time to go home and change. Sadly, I did. So, I went home, changed my uniform, came back, and worked the game.

I have to admit I wasn’t especially pleased with the outcome of that conversation. It definitely was not what I wanted to do. However, I was cognizant of how differently I handled the situation than I would have in the past. I was upfront and honest. I did not try to lie or hide the fact that I was unprepared. I was vulnerable. I made my request known, and when I did not get the answer I wanted, I did not get upset. I didn’t try to manipulate or control to get my way. I accepted the answer they gave me and worked the game. Yes, I was embarrassed that I showed up unprepared. But because I did the right thing, the embarrassment slipped away. I showed up and did my job without an attitude. I maintained my emotional sobriety, and my disappointment didn’t leak onto anyone else either. And when the game was over, I had no resentments.

I felt proud of myself for the way I approached the situation. And deep down I sensed God was proud of me too. I was able to let it go. I did not dwell on it or play it over and over in my head. And that was a great gift. These little things that come up in my everyday life are huge for me because I know how I used to respond in the past. What stood out to me most was that it was not a challenge. It was not a battle. It was not something I vacillated on, and it was not a difficult decision. It wasn’t even a decision. I am so grateful for that.

Working through the steps of recovery has changed me from the inside. My responses are different. My thought process is different. My emotions are different. I am different. And that is the gift of recovery for me.

Reflection

What little things in my life show me that I am responding differently than I used to?

On The Spot

A Decision Followed by Action

I can’t change what happened in the past, but I can change what happens next.

I can do all things through Christ, because He gives me strength. Philippians 4:13

The other day I was umpiring an adult slow-pitch softball game after work. I was tired. It had been a long day, and I had not gotten much sleep the night before. Typically, there is not a lot of action and most of the calls are obvious. So, I usually do not have to move very much. However, there was a close play at third base. I called the runner out, but I was still all the way back at home plate. It was possible the fielder missed the bag, but I was not in the best position to see it. The runner was upset and said he had been safe by a couple of steps. Honestly, every player says they were safe, so I shrugged it off. But inwardly, I knew I was not in the correct position to make the call. I thought about it for a few minutes, but instead of letting my mind spin on it, I decided to change right there, on the spot.

I told myself, “I can do better. I am a better umpire than this. I am going to hustle and get into the right position. I am not going to put myself in a situation where I cannot see the play again.” I prayed and asked God to give me strength and help me do better. And He did. And then so did I. Even though I was still tired, I sensed an extra boost as soon as I began making the effort. I found that I was able to hustle, move, and get the right angle. God had given me exactly what I needed, but I still had to act on what He gave me. Before recovery, I probably would have promised myself that I would do better the next time I umpired. This time, I made the decision and immediately followed it with action. That showed me I have grown. I am not perfect, but I am making progress. I even started to have fun working again.

The lesson for me was this: I do not have to beat myself up, but I do not have to stay the same either. I can do something. I can change. I have learned in recovery that I can change my mind and do something different right then. I do not have to wait for a new game. I do not have to wait for another day. I can make a change, put it into action, and begin practicing it right there on the spot. I cannot go back and undo a past mistake, but I can learn from it and do something different so I do not keep repeating it. And that is exactly what I did. I felt better about myself afterward too. That is the gift of recovery for me.

Prayer

God, help me to recognize when I need to change and do something different. Give me the strength to do it right then. Thank you for always being faithful to help me. Amen.