Being Refilled Again

I cannot live today on yesterday’s prayers. I need to keep coming back to God to be refilled.

But those who trust in the Lord will renew their strength; they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31

The drinking water where we live is not very good, and there have been enough questions about the quality and safety of it that we choose not to drink it. One of my weekly chores is to gather up our water jugs and take them down to the filling station. So every week I load the empty jugs into my car, drive down to the water station, fill them up, and bring them home. It usually takes about an hour out of my day. I will admit, it is inconvenient. There are plenty of other things I would rather do with that hour. But if I do not refill the jugs, eventually we run out of water.

The other day, while I was loading all the jugs into my car, I started thinking about how much those empty jugs reminded me of my recovery. I need to continually be filled too. Working my recovery program is not something I started years ago and can now just leave alone. My spiritual life is not something I can fill up once and expect to stay full forever. Life is sometimes draining. Stress, responsibilities, and relationships often require effort and energy. After a while, I start running low again. If I am not paying attention, I can get empty before I even realize it. That is why Step 10 is so important to me. It keeps me looking at myself and honestly assessing where I am, what is going on inside me, and what needs my attention. The jugs do not stay full just because I filled them when I bought them or even because I filled them last week, and neither do I.

Step 11 is where I continue going back to God. Through prayer and meditation, I seek Him, listen for His direction, and allow Him to replenish what life has drained out of me. I cannot live today on yesterday’s prayers. I cannot depend only on what God showed me last week, last year, or years ago when I first entered recovery. I need Him today. That does not mean everything I received before is gone. It means my relationship with God is active and ongoing. Just as those water jugs need to be refilled regularly, so do I. And when I am practicing Steps 10 and 11, then Step 12 becomes a natural outcome. I have something to share with others because I continue to receive.

Maybe that is why filling those water jugs every week struck me differently today. I have done it countless times, and I will have to do it again. They will get emptied, and I will need to refill them next week. That is not failure. That is how they are meant to be used. That is their purpose. The same is true for me. Recovery is not about getting filled once and staying that way forever. It is about continuing to pay attention, staying connected to God, and continuing to practice what keeps me spiritually and emotionally healthy. I need to keep coming back to the source to be refilled. God is my source.

Prayer

God, I need You today and every day. Help me stay close to You and be honest about where I am. Fill me with Your Spirit, strength, wisdom, and direction. I commit this day to You. Amen.