God Has Already Given It

I’m learning to stop chasing approval from people who may never give it… and instead lean into the approval God has already given me.

Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Galatians 1:10

Why do I seek approval from those who don’t or won’t give it? And yet I discount or dismiss approval from those who do? Why does the approval I can’t get seem to matter more than the approval I already have? When I think about it, the ones I am seeking approval from are parent figures and authority figures. And the ones who are willing to give it, I tend to dismiss or minimize, because they’re not the ones I’m seeking approval from.

This awareness doesn’t solve my problem, nor does it fix it. But it does cause me to realize that it’s a me issue and not a them issue. Granted, those parental figures who refuse to give approval have a part to play, but that’s their part. That’s not always easy for me to accept. I want it to be about them. I want them to change so I can feel better. That would be a lot easier. But by working the steps of recovery, I’m learning that I need to focus on my part. I cannot change them, no matter how hard I try. Trying only leaves me frustrated and puts me in a position where I’m tempted to manipulate and control to get my emotional needs met. My feelings get hurt and I feel less than again. That’s all about me.

Recovery has helped me climb out of that pit. By focusing on myself and what I can do. By focusing on what is within my power, and what I need to do to see that change happen. I know I have God’s approval, and when I think about that, it helps me keep things in perspective. Who is more of an authority or parental figure than God? If I have His approval, then I don’t need theirs the same way. I don’t have the solution for this right now. I only have a guide that leads me down a path toward peace. I realize this is about me and my core issues. I sometimes still feel less than and need approval. And because I can see that, I know the solution also lies within me, even if I’m not fully aware of it yet. But I have hope. Because of the tools and principles I’ve learned in recovery, and because of God helping me, I know I won’t stay stuck here. He will help me change.

Reflection
What would change if I truly believed I already have God’s approval?