I try to avoid drama at all costs. And I mean drama of any kind. I think most people do. Except to me anything that is not what I want I classify as drama. Even though I know that this is an unrealistic expectation, knowing this alone does not stop me from thinking this way. And this thinking is not at a conscious level. I mean, if you were to ask me if I have unrealistic expectations, I would say no. If you would ask me if I thought I was avoiding things that I didn’t want to happen and calling it drama, I would say no. If you were to ask me if I thought I was in Denial. My immediate first response would be emphatically NO! Why? Because I will do anything to not have to deal with the feelings I get when things don’t go the way that I hope. It often brings up uncomfortable feelings of hurt and feeling less than. Feelings like; I am not good enough, or I can’t do anything right. I am continually seeking approval and usually not from those who God has sent my way to give me what I am seeking, but instead I seek it from those who don’t have it to give.
Have you heard the story about the man who didn’t know how to swim and was caught in a severe flood? The water was half way up to his roof. He was standing on his roof praying and crying out to God. “Lord, please help me. Please save me” And a man floats by on a make shift raft and asks if he needs help. He replies, “No, God will take care of me.” The water is now up to his roof. He cries out again. “God help me. Please save me.” A woman comes by in a little boat and asks if she can help. “No, God will take care of me.” The water is now covering the roof and he is standing waist deep in the water on top of his roof. He cries out to God. “Please help me. Lord, please save me.” A helicopter comes by and a man jumps out and asks if he can help. “No God will take care of me.” The man ends up drowning right there. When he gets to heaven he asks the Lord, “I cried out to You. Why didn’t you save me? You know I can’t swim.” I’m sure you know the response. The Lord says “I sent you a raft, a boat and a helicopter.”
This is exactly how I am sometimes. I am looking for help in a certain or specific way and being so stuck on my own understanding, I actually miss how God has tried to help. I think “I don’t need YOUR help. GOD is going to help me.” Somehow in my mind if things don’t go the way I hope, I interpret that as me being a failure and then I feel rejected. Now if I have the clarity of mind, at the time, to examine my feelings, I can usually get some perspective on them and realize that my character defect is what’s being triggered and that is why I am feeling this way. But this is not always the case. I think that is why God tells us that we need other people in our life. I know nothing snaps me back to reality quicker than someone asking me “What is your part?” Or “Which one of your core issues is being triggered here?”
You see this is that nasty and insidious thing called denial. And this is what makes it so dangerous; When I’m in denial I can’t tell that I am. And I can’t see denial because I’m in it. I will deny that I am in denial. This is the nature of denial. And this is what makes it so hard to break free from. And why we can’t do it by ourselves. Did you know that the Bible has much to say about this? I am comforted to know that I am not the only person who has these struggles.
2 Corinthians 3:14 (NKJV) “But their minds were blinded. For until this day the same veil remains unlifted in the reading of the Old Testament, because the veil is taken away in Christ.”
Christ (Jesus) takes away the veil that keeps my mind blinded. I find it noteworthy that the apostle Paul says here that even in the reading of the Old Testament it remains unlifted. The Old Testament is the BIBLE. And at the time there was no New Testament yet. It was still being lived. So let’s remember that when it says Old Testament here, it means the BIBLE. That is all they had at the time. I find solitude in continually reading the scriptures, but it says here that there is still a veil in just reading the scriptures. Now don’t get me wrong. I believe that God’s word is the ultimate authority and the reed by which we measure everything against. But just reading, memorizing and quoting the word is not the answer. Listen to the astounding words that Jesus said.
John 5:39-40 (MSG) 39 “You have your heads in your Bibles constantly because you think you’ll find eternal life there. But you miss the forest for the trees. These Scriptures are all about me! 40 And here I am, standing right before you, and you aren’t willing to receive from me the life you say you want.
He said that just reading and studying my Bible does not bring me life. It directs me to The Life – Jesus. Then I have to DO something. Am I WILLING to receive what I say I want? Or am I missing the forest for the trees?
2 Corinthians 4:4 (NKJV) “whose minds the god of this age has blinded, who do not believe, lest the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine on them.”
2 Corinthians 11:3 (NKJV) “But I fear, lest somehow, as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness, so your minds may be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ.”
My mind can be blinded, deceived and corrupted. And as a result I end up avoiding just the thing that might give me an experience and a victory that I could share with and possibly help someone else. It takes the light of God’s word to shine on and expose it. And usually that comes through others. But then I still have to do something with what I hear. Will I accept it or reject it. You see I want the victory and want to be able to tell the story without having to go through the experience. And it’s not the experience itself that bothers me. It is the way that I feel when I have to face what I don’t want to happen. I am learning that it is only when I go THROUGH the problem or difficult situation that I am able to claim and get the victory over it. I used to CLAIM victory based on the promise in God’s word, and then do everything I could think of to avoid the inevitable consequences of my actions. What I found is that I was continually frustrated and unfulfilled.
Philippians 4:7 (NKJV) “and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”
This verse says that God’s peace will guard my mind. Peace enters in my mind. When my mind is at peace I am at peace. When my mind is confused and spinning, I don’t have peace. Does this just happen automatically once I become a Christian? I don’t think so. I know there have been many times in my life when I have not experienced peace in my mind and have been spinning. But I got some clarity when I read Isaiah.
Isaiah 26:3 (NKJV) “You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You.”
Notice that peace comes from having my mind stayed. The italicized words in the above verse are not in the original language. Listen how the New International version states it.
Isaiah 26:3 (NIV) 3 You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.
So if I can keep my mind steady or steadfast I will have peace. And that shows my trust in God. God expects me to do something with my mind. The spiritual battle that I fight is in my mind. And it’s up to m e to do something with my mind.
Ed Schultz | Writing & Ministry 